Disrespectful // Joker x OC

4. My Tears Can Make Planets

Ten days goes by and I've done nothing but cry and mourn over the ones I lost. Yesterday were Kale's, Rob's, Jimi's and other gang member's funeral. I used some of my money on the funerals, making sure to give them a lovely goodbye. It really did hurt to watch them go 6 feet underground. And it also hurt when I was requested to sing Kale a song, for it was his birthday that day. I had to fight all of the voice cracks and tears as I sung his favorite song, "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. The family and gang members would tell stories and moments that they loved with the ones that past away. They even tried encouraging me to do the same, but I turned down each and every offer so I don't make a scene. But at the end of the day they all offered me money for 1: trying to save Rob and 2: paying for most of the funeral. I didn't take their money though. But the gang all said that if I ever needed them, then they'll help. Even though that was sweet, I still turned down the offer. They just told me to keep it in mind just in case I need them. 

Similar things goes for David's funeral which happened 3 days after the incident. His wife was broken from the information that I forced myself to tell her. Now she is a widow with 2 twin girls. Both too young to actually process the death of their beloved father. After the funeral, his wife couldn't stand being in the city, for she became paranoid over her daughters. I then offer her a million dollars to get her her safely out and away from the country. She didn't second think the offer. She took the duffel bag and left with her girls after 2 days, with the help of me escorting her to the airport in LA. I didn't even ask her for her destination, and I could tell that she didn't want me knowing anyways.

But today was another funeral that I payed majority of... Jaxon's. I told his boyfriend about Jaxon's death the night it happened, and the poor boy broke down. I held Jackson close to me and cried with him. I didn't even bother with calming him down nor did I tell him that it will be OK. Ain't nobody would wanna hear that shit. Someone that is very loved just died a gruesome death. Nothing about that is OK. 

After a solid hour of crying, Jackson didn't feel comfortable with staying at his apartment. He said that everything around him reminded him of Jaxon. I then instructed him to pack a bag and stay at my place. He didn't even protest my demand, he just listened to me and he's been staying at my place since. Both of us grieving. Not a good mix but at least we had each other to comfort.

I'm dressed in a simple black knee length dress, black leather jacket, stockings, black heel ankle boots. The jacket and dress were a gift from Jaxon last Christmas. And for my make up, it was just mascara, no eyeliner and lip gloss. Jackson tied half of my hair up and left the rest out, along with 2 loose strands falling down my face. Nice and simple.

I sit at my window, knees cradled close to my chest. Narla rests by my feet, her head lying on my right foot as her attempt at comforting me. I watch as the rain drops race each other down the glass, while listening to "Death Bed" by Powfu. "Don't stay awake for too long. Don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. I'll get you up and going out of bed." I whisper and inhale deeply. 

A soft masculine hand lightly lands on my shoulder. I look up and see Jackson with a tear stained face. I remove my earphones and look at him properly. "It's time." His voice cracks.

I stand with a sad look and wrap my arms around his torso, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and holds me slightly tighter. His form was a bit shaky as I can hear him sniffle, trying to keep himself from crying again. But I rub his back soothingly and say, "Don't hold it back. Just let it all out." And on cue, he starts balling his eyes out. I could feel his tears fall to my calf, but I couldn't care any less. "That's it. It's OK to cry." I keep encouraging him, and he holds onto me even tighter. Throbbing then starts to form in my throat and chest, I do what I encouraged and let my tears freely fall. I cling onto the boy tighter as flashbacks of my poor attempt at saving Jaxon floods my head.

A soft knock at my door disturbs our sad moment of grieving. We let go and look to the doorway to see Jaxon's mother. She is a young looking lady with dirty blonde hair, and little tiny splashes of freckles. She absolutely adores Jackson like he's family, way more than Jackson's own family. I told her face to face about her son's death as well. She badly broke down too, especially since she had lost her husband 4 months ago. I felt so bad for her, especially since she is also 6 months pregnant. Very bad timings for these terrible timings to happen.

I wipe away my tears and get my sniffling in control. "We're coming down." I say. 

She comes over to us and gives us both a gentle, loving kiss on our foreheads. No one shares another word. She stands between us and extends out a hand for Jack and I to grab. We both grab a hold and walk with her to her car. Jackson sits up front and I sit at the back as we take a 10 minute trip to the mother's home. I had offered to have the funeral held at my place, since it is a very large place, but the mother insisted on having the ceremony at her place. The house soon comes into view and I brace myself for the long day.

"I hope that the water works are dead within me." 

*Time skip

The funeral and burial had all finished. Jackson and I got a ride back to my place. We didn't feel like any interaction for the night. He decides to isolate himself in the guest room, while I had a very long bath, and dressed in sweat pants and a large hoodie. I walk over to my bed and crawl under the covers. Not too long later, Narla hops up and licks my nose. Even though her actions tickles, it still couldn't bring me to twitch a smile. I just stare blankly at the creature, trying to escape reality. Narla then decides to curl up to me. I properly take in her presence and hug her close to me. I couldn't sleep for the past few days. I still felt somewhat responsible for their deaths. Thinking that maybe my lake of cooperating with Joker provoked him to blow up the club. Maybe that was intended for me... I wish I could turn back the time and save their lives. I'd give up my immortality for them. I'd give up all of my powers for them...

But I do have 1 power that can help possibly make peace for everyone. But if I tap into it, it'll then be almost impossible to shut it off when needed. I found it incredibly dangerous and terrifying as a kid. The power left me scarred at a young age. And I ended up in a coma for 8 months, just trying to turn it off. But when I did turn it off, I was in a 2 year coma. I missed out on a lot of my childhood from that. 

But...

Maybe I can give it ago next month... I should be better by then. I inhale deeply and lie on my back and stare at the ceiling. Missing the sensation of music loudly drowning out my thoughts, I grab my phone and headphones and blast them. First song playing is "Sing To You" by John Splithoff, I lip sync some of the lyrics as I rest Narla on my stomach and stroke her soft fur.

"You don't have to worry 'bout a single thing. Just let me sing to you."

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Word Count: 1427