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chapter thirteen wake me up when summer ends
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Ever since Izzy Windsor was young, she always felt like there was a hole inside of her. As if she was born with a missing piece; a void where her heart should have been. The realization hit her dead on when her mother died and Izzy was forced to take her place. Suddenly she felt like she had been immersed in a valley of dolls. All of her peers and elders were carbon copies of each other right down to the last strand of hair on their heads and the perfectly sculptured curve of their chins. And then there was Izzy. Hollow and moody, Izzy. It was clear she was the black sheep amongst the white, which would have been all right if Izzy wasn't, well . . . Izzy.
Sure, she looked like the rest; like herself, but she wasn't. The people she surrounded herself with were plastic through and through, but Izzy was hollow. And she didn't want to be that anymore. Truly, she didn't. It sucked trying to be a plastic Barbie when she was anything but.
So Izzy was trying. She was trying to turn her plastic skin into flesh and bone. Because sometimes being soft was better than being hard. So, yeah, she was trying to not be this image she had drilled into her brain, because she didn't want to be that. Not anymore. And all she could do was try.
But it wasn't as easy as she'd like.
There was still this disconnect. She wanted to be better. She wanted to be flesh and bone, not plastic. She wanted to be herself, not her mother, but there was something stopping her. Like it wasn't that easy to just stop being someone who she had been since she was a child. It just wasn't that easy. She couldn't completely let go of her past; her heart still beat there. So maybe she was just stuck. But she was trying to unglue her feet.
And her whole mission to be this better version of herself where her past didn't dictate every decision in her life, had led her to that day. She had visited her mother's grave just the day before, so that had tired her out. Sure, she had gotten some closure, but she still felt like shit. She guessed she would always miss her mother. But, anyway, she didn't really want to do anything that day except for paint and listen to music, but then she got a call.
