tw: rape, mentions of suicide (i'll put ** before and after)
It's been a month. I showered like two weeks ago but I still haven't done any school work.
Dad keeps messaging me on Instagram that he's getting messages from my teachers that I need to do my work. But most of the time I don't even have the energy to answer.
I had gotten really skinny from not eating. I used to be like average sized and now I feel just like a skeleton. Normally I would make a joke with Morgan about being a skinny legend.
Today, Elaine was having a party. What "a party" meant exactly I wasn't sure. When I was 6 it was a bunch of drunk adults doing drugs.
Sure enough that's exactly what it was. The house felt way to small for the amount of people. There were alcohol bottles everywhere, and I had to look away when I saw the white powder on the counter. I didn't want to know what was happening.
I got some water and came back upstairs, wishing I was anywhere else. But apparently I wasn't alone
**
A man opened the door just as soon as I had shut it.
"I'm sorry?" I asked. He was clearly drunk, and probably high too. His eyes were way to red and I didn't like how he stumbled in touching my stuff.
"You're hot." He slurred.
"I'm 16 and not interested." I told him, slightly pushing him towards the door.
"Don't touch me!" He got really mad and shoved me to the side, making me hit my head on the wall.
I only came up right below this guys shoulders and he weighed probably 3 times more than me.
"Get out." I instructed, feeling for blood on my head.
"You're such a bore." He pushed me back into the wall, pinning my hands above my head. "Come on, loosen up."
"Stop!" I yelled, and he quickly grabbed in between my legs.
"Such a tease." He let the word linger and he pushed me to my knees. He took off his pants and forced my mouth open, then pushing me onto him.
Tears welled in my eyes as I gagged.
He pulled me up by my hair and threw me on my bed. "Let's see if you can be a good girl." He pulled my pants off and hovered over me.
I screamed and yelled and cried but he didn't stop.
Eventually, it stopped. I couldn't feel it any more and I laid there numb.
He pulled out of me, and put his stuff all over my body.
I decided right in that moment that this was it. I needed this to end.
**
