Today I was going with dad to get my stitches out. We loaded in the car at 9 to be at my appointment at 10. I had 4 sets of stitches, and I thought that they had healed pretty good but who knows how bad they'll scar.
"Are you excited to get them out?" Dad asked me, stopping at a light.
"Yeah, they're kind of annoying and itchy. And they're hard to shower." I answered.
"I mean yeah it'll probably be nice to not have to worry about them. I think Ryland bought you some like scar cream in case it scarred. He didn't know if it would bother you seeing the scars."
"Ugh, when are you guys gonna get married." I joked.
"I'm trying my best."
They had began wedding planning but they could never make up their minds 100% about anything. So far it had been a grueling process.
When we arrived at the hospital first we had to wait in the waiting room. Then when we got called back they went to remove the stitches.
"So it isn't going to hurt, it's not going to touch you except for the very bottom of the stitches." I nodded.
I think I had like 20 some stitches that needed to get taken out, so it took about 20 minutes. Then another person made me go to another room and do a mental health evaluation.
"Have you had any suicidal thoughts since this happened?" The lady asked.
"No."
"Have you had any intentions of hurting yourself?"
"No."
"You've been taking Zoloft correct?"
"Yes."
"Do you feel a noticeable, positive difference?"
"Yes."
"Okay, you're good to go. Glad to see you're doing better." She opened the door and smiled at me.
When we got in the car I looked at my arm. It was kinda scarred pretty bad.
"Are you okay?" Dad asked, looking at what I was doing.
"It's weird. But I'm okay." I replied.
"Hey, so I had something I wanted to ask you about. So you know we made a video when you first went with Elaine, and I know you tweeted that you were home. Did you wanna talk about it online more or did you wanna be done with it?"
"I mean, I feel like I have to don't I?" I also requested that we go through the Starbucks drive through.
"You don't have to do anything. It's up to you how much you want to tell people." He pulled into the drive through and looked at me. "Seriously, Laney. Do not feel like you have to tell people what happened."
"I mean, I don't really wanna talk about it, but like I would but I feel awkward and I feel like no one would care to hear about it." I spoke fast as I made more points.
"Hey, listen. First of all don't think that people don't care. People do care. We care about what happens to you. And second, you said you didn't want to talk about it online so we won't. It's okay. Don't feel pressured to talk about it." He pulled up to the drive through window. "Do you want your normal?"
"Yeah." I twiddled my thumbs then I decided to text Ryland.
Hey. We just left the doctors, it did end up scarring.
I waited for him to reply and thanked dad for buying me Starbucks.
I hope it went good! I bought you stuff that should help
I let myself sit in my head for a minute as my head went everywhere. I thought about Elaine and if I would ever have to be connected to her again.
"Hey, dad?" I asked as he handed me my drink. "What's on my birth certificate?"
"What do you mean? Like names?" He gave me a quizzical look as he pulled forward. "It's my name and then it's blank. Why?"
"I just didn't know if Elaines name was on it. So is the other parent just blank, like it's not there or is there room for another one."
"There is still the spot for another one but it's blank. Why?"
"Nothing." I shrugged.
I thought about if Ryland could go on my birth certificate. Like, adopting me. That would make Shane and Ryland my legal parents. I mean, if they're going to get married it would make sense. Rylands been in my life for like 4 years now, Shane has been for a little over 5. And while it's a little bit different in the situations, it would kinda make sense. Right?
