Our Parallel Rainbows

Ch. 3 : Drives Me Insane

|Ravenn|

"Doc, kanina pa kayo hinihintay ng inyong mga pasyente." Pagbungad sa akin ng aking secretary na si Jacqueline right after kong makapasok sa entrance ng opisina.

"Paki inform yung nakasched ngayon na I'll be there in a few minutes." Humahangos kong saad at dumiretso sa aking opisina upang mag organize ng sarili.

I head directly at the session hall. I was sincerely apologetic for being late but seems it doesn't bothered him. But for me it matters coz I have my credibility to be taken care of.

Pagkarating ko doon napansin kong malaki ang pinagbago ng katawan ng aking pasyente. Namamayat ito after ng huling session namin, noticeable hollow cheeks and a dark circles in his eyes. Siguro hindi siya nakakatulog at nakakakain ng maayos.

According sa kanyang magulang he attempted his third suicide by hanging himself on their ceiling using his blanket. Mabuti nalang at napansin agad Ito ng kanyang ina nang makitang nakalock ang kwarto ng itoy magdadala ng pagkain.

His first suicide attempt was laceration, he bleeds to death and almost die due to blood insufficiency. His second attempt was taking a lethal dose of sleeping pills which belongs to his mother who experience insomnia. It was unexpected because everything was fine a few weeks before his first attempt kaya akala ng lahat maayos na siya. He never get tired of finding ways how to end his life and we were both terrified on what he is going to do next. I hope nothing harmful will going to happen and I won't let that happened again.

Most of the time he was blaming himself sa pagkamatay ng kanyang kapatid, madalas kasi silang mag-away at hindi magkasundo kahit sa maliliit na bagay.

Hanggang isang araw naglayas ito nang kampihan siya ng kanyang ina at sa kasamaang palad naaksidente ang minamaneho nitong motorsiklo, death on arrival nang maidala siya sa hospital. Hindi parin siya makapaniwala sa mga pangyayari at gusto nyang pagbayaran ang lahat sa labis na pagsisisi. Not mentioned na dalawa lang silang magkapatid at solo parent lang ang kanilang ina who raised them independently. Mas masakit para sa kanyang ina Kung mawawalan pa ulit siya ng isang anak. Jayson is the only person she have now. Wala nang mas sasakit pa dun! It was heartbreaking.

"Hi Jayson, How are you?" I flushed him a genuine smile pero nanatili lang syang nakaubob, iniiwasan Ang aking mga tingin. Marahil ay nahihiya siya sa akin because he promised me during our last session na hindi na nya uulitin iyon.

I always considered my patients feelings over anything kasi Alam ko ang bigat ng kanilang pinagdaraanan at I want to help them. Kasi Alam ko ang sakit ng walang nakakaintindi at walang gustong umunawa.

"It's okay, can we talk about it?" As I tried to became more of a friend than a doctor.

Nagshare naman siya about his problems at naiintindihan ko namn siya. Mahirap naman talagang mabuhay ng may pagsisisi. Our session last until 10 o'clock. I glanced at the glass door and I spotted his mother observing us from inside. I gave her an reassuring smile to tell her everything is okay.

Niresitahan ko ng gamot si Jayson. Anti-depressant and a set of tea na makakatulong sa maayos na pag-iisip and also a handful of books para malibang siya at Hindi mag-isip ng masasamang bagay. Bookroom rin Kasi si Jayson natigil lang siya sa pagbabasa dahil sa dami ng problema. I told him na gawin nya yung mga bagay na gusto nyang gawin para mabaling ang kanyang atensyon sa mga bagay bagay.

As the session ends, I secretly approch his mother about his condition because it is more likely to happen again. I told her to keep an eye to his son and if she notice anything wierd about his behavior she may call me to address the problem regarding on his condition.