All My Love

18

Robert shook me awake the next morning. "Louisa, you've got to get up. Something's wrong with Jimmy. I think he's actually lost his mind."

I only sat up, trying to understand through the early morning haze that was clogging my mind.

When it finally got through to me, I abruptly jumped out of the bed and zoomed out of the hotel room.

As soon as I stepped out into the hallway, the girl that followed Jimmy the night before was on the floor crying. Sure looked up at me, her makeup smeared and her hair frizzed. She only shook her head and turned away.

I didn't have time to ask questions so I proceeded past her and into Jimmy's room. I nearly screamed when I stepped foot inside.

The room was in shambles. It looked as though it had been pillaged by barbarous Vikings. Nothing was left untouched. I looked over to see shards of glass whiskey bottles scattered on the floor and the television smashed to bits over in the corner.

I navigated my way through the entryway, making sure not to step on any sharp pieces, and called out to Jimmy.

"James, are you okay?" I called out softly.

There was no reply.

"James, please. Just come out. We need to talk."

"You know I don't like it when you call me James," a muffled voice called out from inside the bathroom.

I tried the handle on the bathroom door. Locked.

"Jimmy," I called out again,"could you please open the door?"

"Why would I do that?" He asked harshly.

I stood there silently. I knew anything I said would somehow be held against me. Jimmy was quite stubborn at times and always wanted his way. So, I pulled myself together and tried as best as I could to get him to listen.

"I know this whole situation is a bit hard for you to get through. But Jimmy, this is no way to act, and it sure as hell won't get me to come back to you. You're not the only one dealing with an internal conflict here. And you're definitely not the only one dealing with heartache.

"People handle things different ways, but this is too extreme. You've got two options-  live in the past, or move on. But quite honestly, you're just acting like a child. You've got to move on.

"You've got to pull yourself together. Stop trying so hard to get me. If we were really meant to be together, it wouldn't be this hard. You wouldn't have to try to get me jealous by sleeping with some random bird."

I started choking up on my tears. I always seemed to do this whenever i tried to get my point across. But pretty soon it turned into full blown sobbing. I struggled to get any more words out.

I began to grow impatient at Jimmy's stubborn attitude. I tried jiggling the handle to open, but to no avail.

I frantically started to pace the room as I grew more and more agitated but also somewhat fearful, quite afraid of what would come of Jimmy if i didn't do anything soon.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard the click of the door unlocking. I slowly turned around to see Jimmy stumbling out of the bathroom and collapsing onto the ground. He was drunk.

I hurried over to him and helped him to his feet. I led him over to the bed and lay him down, taking the whiskey bottle from his hand and propping his head up on some pillows.

He only groaned as I took off his shoes and wrapped a blanket around him, tucking him in tightly.

I sat by him as he slept, waiting for him to wake up with a clear mind and same  judgment. He just wasn't him when he drank. He was the bad kind of drunk, not the comical drunk uncle at family parties. He reminded me of my father when he got drunk. Unfortunately, this thought evoked horrible memories of my childhood, leaving me once again sobbing over yet another incident. The only thing comforting me was when my dad overcame his addiction. There was hope. There always was hope and there always will be.