Mothers (girlxgirl) (Book 3)

Letting Go

Buffy's POV

She won't leave me alone.

I walk down the hall toward my mother's hospital room.

Every time I go somewhere. Every time I blink or turn around, there she is. I just can't get rid of her. I don't need this crap right now, no matter how much my friends say differently. So what if she saved my life? If she hadn't been there to distract me, I probably would've been able to save myself, whether I was rusty or not. I can't believe what she said last night. She acted like killing Dawn was okay just because it SAVED the WORLD. She's such a bitch.

I step out of the way of a gurney being wheeled the opposite way I am going.

The world is a cold and lonely place without Dawn in it. If Dawn hadn't died then my mother might be doing better than she is. Mom would have an extra reason to fight and be healthy. But she doesn't, thanks to Faith. Because of Faith, Dawn is dead and I will never forgive her for what she's done. She can say anything she wants, feel any way she wants, it will never change how I feel... EVER.

I stop just outside my mom's room, taking a deep breath.

You can do this. You can do this without bursting into tears, no matter what the news is. Just because the doctor wants to talk with us this morning doesn't mean it's bad news. It could be good news. Maybe they've figured out a way to make my mother better. A way for her to heal and be okay.

I take another deep breath.

I won't know until I go in though.

I reach out and push the door open, going inside. My mother immediately looks to me as I come in, a look of concern on her face as she tries to smile.

"Buffy..."

It's bad news, I'm almost positive by the way she's look at me. She looks tired.

I go up to my mom's hospital bed and lean over it, hugging her as gently as I can without hurting her.

She's been weaker than usual lately. I can't risk hurting her with all my strength.

She hugs me back.

"Hey mom..."

I pull back and smile at her.

"How are you?"

Mom takes a long deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments as she does.

"I'm a little tired, but otherwise fine."

"Are you comfortable? Can I do anything?"

She smiles at me, reaching out and I take her hand.

"No I'm feeling really comfortable thank you. The nurses here have been really taking good care of me."

They shouldn't be the ones taking care of her.

"You're sure?"

"Yes Buffy... now sit down and spend some time with your dear sweet mother."

I pull the chair behind me and sit down, never letting go of my mom.

"So how was the patrolling last night? Did you stake any vamps?"

The image of Faith staking a vamp flashes in my head. I shake it off.

"Uh, yeah... I did. A couple of them actually."

My mom looks at me with a questioning look of concern.

"What is it?"

I try and smile at her before looking away.