Trauma

I Have Two Things Living In My Body. Great

The picture has absolutely nothing to do with the chapter.

I just thought it was adorable. "Soo!!" I just can't. It's too adorable for my soul. 

Everyone's eyes were on me. Some of them have never seen me cry before. Being self conscious made things worse. I got up on my feet and ran into the Shack up to me and Mabel's room. I curled up in my bed and hid under my blankets. Feeling safe from everyone out there, but terrified over what was happening in my body. I had two options. Keep things secret and pull all nighters for the rest of my life, or tell someone and find a way to fix this. I didn't want people treating me differently. 

I was worried that if I told Mabel that part of me was hosting a demon, while the other part of me was hosting her (dead?) friend, then she would treat me like a monster. I was actually starting to consider option one when Mabel walked in. She sat at the end of my bed and put her hand on my leg. "You wanna talk about it?" I knew it was a good idea to talk to her. And I wanted to. But I was terrified that I would just start crying again. I had to force the words out. "I-It wasn't just dreams Mabel. Bill is alive and he's in my body." "How do you know its not just your subconsciousness making up things to freak you out?" 

"He seemed so real Mable. He said things that only Bill would say. But-" I paused and took a deep breath. "-There's someone with him too." "Dipper, how do you know your not-" "If your suggesting I'm going crazy, then you need to get out of my life!" 

She looked hurt. I didn't mean to snap at her. I didn't want to say that. But something made me say that. "Dipper..." "Mabel! I didn't mean to say that!" I tried to give her a hug but she flinched away from me. "Okay okay! I admit your right! Just please...." what was she going to say? Please stay away from me? Was I a monster? "Mabel I-" She took out a mirror from her pack. "What are you doing?" she quickly handed the mirror to me and then backed away. I looked in it and saw something I prayed to never see ever again. 

One of my eyes was yellow with a black slit. It was like the kind of eye's I had when Bill possessed me. I was so terrified, I threw the mirror across the room and ended up breaking it. I was so mentally unstable now, that I don't know how much longer I'll last like this. Tears started welling up again. "Mabel i'm sorry. I'm a pathetic excuse for a brother." I got back under my blankets. 

Mabel walked toward me and sat down. "You know, when you think about it, I think your new eye looks good on you. And thats coming from the queen of fashion!" I think she was trying to cheer me up but all she did was make me feel worse. "Come on." She said. "I'll go get Grunkle Ford to see if he can do anything to help. You can tell me who else is living in your body later. I believe you now Dipstick."

I heard her left the room and it was silent. I was starting to get tired. But I forced myself not to shut my eyes. But a few minutes later it was hard to ignore. The bed was so comfy. And the blankets were so warm. I finally gave in and shut my eyes. Trying to prepare myself for what lied ahead.