Trauma

Connecting

Okay first of all, OMG 1K VIEWS?? YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPY THAT PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY ENJOYING WHAT I'M WRITING! Cause usually the only people I share my writing with is Nia and Rebecca two of my closest friends. But now complete strangers are reading this and they love it apparently! I don't know how this happened but I must be doing something right. 

In celebration of this,  I'll draw some Dilly stuff for you guys. Okay so idk if all of you know, but Dilly is going to be the ship in this. At one point Dipper with have to friendzone Pacifica but Ima make her find her own match. And I wish it would be Mabel but my parents wont let me put that stuff in my books even though I really want to. Anyway, so Ima put all my drawing skills to the test to create a really cute Dilly picture. So you got that to look forward to. Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K VIEWS! AND HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT/AFTERNOON MA BAGELS!

Ford asked Lilly some questions while me and Mabel sat in the corner. Apparently Lilly only remembered her memory that when the piece of hair we got from her. And that was before she died. But that didn't change her feelings for me. And I don't know if it changed my feelings for her either. 

After Ford finished asking her questions, Lilly and Mabel walked out of the room to talk. I stayed in the room with Ford. I had my hair over the eye that looked like Bill's. I uncovered it because it was starting to get annoying. Ford jumped when he saw it so I re-covered it. "Grunkle Ford?" I asked. I needed to know the answer to this question. 

"Yes Dipper?" "A-Are you scared of me?" "I-" Ford hesitated then breathed in. "I'm doing everything in my power to help you Dipper." "That didn't answer the question. Are you scared of me?" I repeated my question. This time my voice was more angry. Ford sighed. "You don't scare me Dipper. I just have to keep reminding myself that your not Bill. Your still family. The eye.. It just brings back bad memory's." I calmed down. "Are you sure?" He nodded. I tackled him with a hug and started to cry. Ford hugged me back. "I-I just need someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be okay." I said. "It's going to be okay Dipper. We'll find a way to get Bill out of your body. And when we do, were going to make sure he never returns again." 

I cried harder. It felt good to get this out. I've been keeping these feelings in for so long. Trying to look brave. But I failed. I was a wimp. But I knew that if I kept these feelings in for longer, I would just eventually let Bill take over and he'll make me lash out in anger. And I didn't want to do that. I accepted the fact that I needed help. And Ford was the perfect place to find it. 

After a while of talking to him, (Look as much as I want to include this conversation between Dipper and Ford, I want to put in Dilly fluff so u gon have to wait XD) I went to find Mabel and Lilly. They were sitting on the front porch talking up a storm. It was mostly Mabel though. Mabel turned when she saw me. "Bro Bro! Are you okay?" She must have seen my red puffy eyes from crying so much. "I'm fine. Can I talk to Lilly alone?" Mabel raised her eyebrows. "Sure bro bro. I get what your trying to do.." I rolled my eyes as I could feel my face turn red. "Mabel. Now." "Okay I'll go." She got up and walked inside. 

I walked over to Lilly and sat by her. I put my head in my hands. "I'm such an idiot." I said. She put her hand on my back. "No your not." I looked up with my hands on my neck. "Did Mabel tell you what happens to you? The real you?" She shook her head. "No... She avoided that subject." I looked down. I didn't want to be the one to tell her, but I knew that she had to know what happened. "You killed yourself." I was expecting her to gasp or even act sad. But instead, she gave a sad laugh. "So your telling me I was smart in the future?" 

I put my hand on her shoulder. "No you weren't. Mabel didn't tell me until a month after. And that's when she told me that you had a crush on me. And I've felt terrible ever since." Her face went red. but it soon turned back to normal. Her face looked sad. "C-Can I show you something?" I shrugged. "Sure." She rolled up her sleeves to reveal several scars on the bottom of her arm. I stared at them in horror knowing where they had come from. 

She smiled sadly. "Sometimes I feel like-" She was cut off when I hugged her with tears in my eyes. "It's going to be okay." I said. She hugged me back. "Thank you Dipper. I needed to hear that." "I know."

We heard someone clear their throat. I looked over and saw Pacifica. She was holding something behind her back. I wiped my eyes. "Oh uh hey Pacifica." "Did I interrupt something? I'm sorry I'll just go now-" "No its okay. You can do what you came for." "No it's really okay. I just came to talk to you because I haven't talked to you in a while." I patted the area next to me. "You can come sit. I'd love to talk to you." She walked over and put something in her pocket then sat by me. 

"So... Who's the new girl?" "Uhhhh things are kind of crazy right now. I don't know if you would believe me if I told you." "Dipper, I once had to live with a bunch of monsters in a potato sack. I'll probably believe whatever you tell me." I took a deep breath. "Twothingsarepossesingmybodyandoneofthemisthespirtofthisgirl. HernameisLillyandtheotherthingthatispossesingmeisthespirtiofBillandIdon'tknowwhattodo." 

Pacifica looked shocked. "Wow. Is their anything you can do to uh. Prove this?" I moved my hair out of the way and revealed my eye. "Okay I believe you. On the bright side, it kind of looks cool." "Thats what Mabel said." Lilly spoke up. "Hi. I'm Lilly. Well, not the real Lilly. Just a clone of her constructed from her DNA. The real Lilly is in Dipper's head." Pacifica smiled. "Hi. I'm Pacifica Northwest." "Nice to meet you." I don't know about you guys but I felt tension. "Well, we have things to get to. Nice talking to Pacifica. See you around?" She smiled. "Yeah. See you around" 

--------------------NOT A TIME SKIP BUT THE OPPOSITE OF A TIME SKIP WERE GOING BACK IN TIME BROUGHT TO YOU BY HEL ALSO THIS NEXT PART IS IN PAZ'S POV----------------------

I walked the road that led to The Mystery Shack. I was so nervous but also excited. I held a heart shaped box of chocolate that had a note on it. On the note it read, "To: Dipper" with three hearts on it and some of Dipper's favorite small flowers were taped to it. I did my best with it. I've been flirting with Dipper ever since I got his number (which was the best day of my whole life) but I don't think he's noticed. Classic Dipper. I was going to make it obvious that I liked him today. I couldn't stand him not noticing me anymore. 

My ponytail was bouncing along as I walked. When I got to the Shack, my heart fell into a pit of despair and I hid the box of chocolates behind my back. Dipper was hugging another girl. But it defiantly wasn't a friendship hug. More then a friendship hug. I cleared my throat and Dipper noticed me. "Oh uh. Hey Pacifica?" 

---------TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BOAT CALLED THE BIG BANANA------------

I turned and walked away. Looking at the box. He was obviously interested in that other girl. And the sad thing was? She was pretty. Like, seriously pretty. Prettier then me. I found a cliff and looked at the box of chocolates that I had bought with my money and decorated it with Dipper's favorite flowers and threw it off the edge. Then, I ran home as fast as I could.