Trauma

School

I forgot that night ever happened. If I talked about what happened the next morning, then my parents would want to know what happened and then I would have to tell them about Weirdmaggedon and all of that stuff. Me and Mabel promised each other that what happened in Gravity Falls, stayed in Gravity Falls. No one would ever know. 

It was the same routine every morning when we got to school. Mom drops us off, Mabel goes with her friends, I go sit by a tree doodling or writing in my Pine Tree journal until the bell rung. Then I went to my classes. Math, Science, Art, lunch, Geography, and then Band last period. Me and Mabel only had Math together then we didn't see each other until the end of the day. 

I hated the thought of it but sometimes I was worried that me and Mabel were slowly being driven apart. The only time we were close was when she comforted me after I woke up from a nightmare. But I had to deal with it. Even though hats weren't allowed in school, I still wore the hat Wendy gave me when we left. It was the only thing that reminded me of the people who were my friends. And in school, I have none. 

In school, I'm known as the kid that sits in the back either reading a book or doodling. Not talking unless I know the answer to a question. Which also makes me an easy target. Fortunately, I've been able to avoid most of the bullies. Sure I'll get the occasional name calling. But I've been able to avoid severe bullying. Like being shoved in a locker, getting dumped in the trash can, or being punched in the gut. I hope it stays that way. 

It was during Geography class when I started getting tired. I couldn't go back to sleep last night so I just read the newest book that I started. I kept quiet for Mabel. Well, as quiet as I could but thats not the point. 

My eyes started to shut but I forced them open. I couldn't fall asleep now. I would get in trouble. The teachers voice was so soft and the class was dead quiet. No one moved. Sleep won. The moment I shut my eyes, the nightmares began. 

I had nightmares of when Bill possessed my body. I was forced to watch in horror as Bill impaled my arm with multiple forks, tossed my body down wooden stairs, and slapped my body multiple times. The list went on and on. It hurt to not be in control. I wasn't in control of my own body. I couldn't stop anything Bill said or did. What if he made Wendy hate me? What if I had no friends left? I was just going to be a ghost for the rest of my life. I was going to be a puppet. No no. I didn't want this. All I wanted was to know the password to the laptop. Not to be a ghost the rest of my life. 

I forced my eyes open in hope the memory would go away. But it wasn't working. Was Bill still in my body? What if I'm not in control right now. Were the walls closing in on the room? I'm going to die. I'm going to die right here because I can't control what I do or say. My arms and legs were shaking rapidly. My eye was twitching and I was taking big inhales of air. The walls felt like they were closing in. I was sweating and I felt as if tears were going to come out of nowhere. 

"Mr. Pines?" My teacher asked. "Are you okay?" "Y-Y-Yu-yup j-ju-jusssssttttt finnneeeeeeeeee." My voice was shaky. I was studdering. Did my voice sound like Bills? Oh no. The class knows. Their staring at me. And so is she. And him. They all know that I'm possessed. They all know. Their gonna talk. Their gonna talk about me. "C-ca-can i-i g-gggoooo t-to t-th-the re-strooommmmm?" 

"Mr. Pines?! Your face is pale! Someone please take this kid to the nurse!" "N-noooo I'm f-ffffiiinnnenee r-really!" I say faking a smile. Some girl next to me said "I think he's having a panic attack!" My breathing got more heavy and rapid. I was hyperventilating. "Clara, please take Dipper to the nurses office." The teacher said calmly. The girl next to me got up and held out her hand. "Come on. Lets go." I was already making a fool out of myself. Before I knew it, kids would be talking and laughing about what happened. I took the girls hand and the moment I stood up, I collapsed on the ground a shaking, studdering, twitching mess.