The Next Best Thing: Part II

Nine

They all stood up and embraced me, comforting me with the notion that I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone. I broke down in their arms, tears that had been nesting in my eyes finally running down my face.

I sat down beside Min, Tyler in front of me and Rae across from me. Min squeezed my hand to stop it from trembling on the table, Tyler and Rae soothing me with kind words.

"I miss him. I miss...I miss him and I don't even know if he misses me too," I mumbled, wiping my soaked cheeks. "I still love him and I know that's stupid but I do, so much. Even though he hurt me I can't just start hating him. Why can't I hate him?"

"Zoe, look at me: he was the love of your life. No-one expects you to hate him, especially not us," Tyler said with a sorrowful look.

"Do you want him back, Zo? Is that it?" Rae still seemed upset that he had cheated on me, awaiting the go ahead to put him on ice.

"I don't know. I don't know what I want anymore. I can't stop thinking about him and it hurts. It hurts so badly," I cried, accepting some tissue from Rae.

Min ordered me a steaming cup of my favourite tea and made me drink it. "You look exhausted."

I took small sips and downed the whole beverage before I could continue.

"Why hasn't anyone asked me where I was all this time?" I asked after taking a few moments to compose myself.

Eoin called Rae soon after I had called him to ask her why I was distraught. She explained that I was heartbroken and that I needed to go somewhere familiar to grieve, unable to bear seeing the source of my pain.
"He called me again when you got to Chicago, telling me your whereabouts and that you were okay. I knew he would take good care of you-"

"But I didn't hence me leaving all those voicemails," interjected Tyler.

"I knew he would take good care of you so I trusted him with your life up until you decided on your own to come home."

Min hugged me suddenly, glad I had come home to her. "I missed you and I was worrying about you. Mitchell called me too and he was worried about you," she told.

"Min! I thought we said we wouldn't tell her yet," Tyler exclaimed.

"Ty, it's okay. I wanna know. How is he?"

"Cam told me he's devastated and he hasn't been the same since you left. He misses you too, Zoe."

I hadn't expected him to be worrying over me - I thought he had moved on. I wanted him to move on and forget about me. He deserved much better.

...

Mitchell

I watched the sun rise outside my hotel room, the city restarting its mundane routine, cars spilling onto the streets, people going about their boring lives.

Today, I was one of those people. My life wasn't as magical as it had been a few weeks ago, the person that made it most special having left me, leaving me broken and loveless.

I sat on my bed, my laptop beside me, open to the pictures she emailed me when I was away and I missed her. She was smiling and happy in most all of them, her smile always making me feel so goddamn lucky to have her. Her eyes were alight, exuberant and I could touch her happiness.

There were pictures of her sad, stressed out over an exam or not having me close to her, me not being present to make love to her when she needed me most.

She documented her life for me so that I would feel like I was there for everything, captioning the pictures with quirky quotes or cryptic messages she knew only I would understand.

This girl, this beautiful, amazing girl was my girlfriend, the young woman I was in love with. I couldn't shake this feeling of love for her, no matter how hard I tried to forget about her.

She was everywhere I went, her voice in my head whenever I performed, telling me I was the sexiest guy she'd ever met and that I was very good at what I did.

She encouraged me to be the best at everything I did, making me proud of the person I was and always encouraging me to better myself.

Now she was gone.

I got up and drew the curtains, revealing a few fans already gathered outside the hotel. I waved at them, my way of saying good morning, something that Zoe had taught me to do. "It could make their morning that much more worthwhile," she would say.

I got ready for an early morning interview, taking my time to reflect on my failed relationship. She left me an emotional wreck - I hardly cried but because of her, I had my own box of Kleenex.

My phone vibrated on the bed, Cameron calling me probably to tell me I was running late. It was a message which read: Rae says Zoe is fine and thought you should know.

I didn't expect her friends to be concerned about me after the way we left things, although they had become my friends too. I needed to know that she was okay for my own well-being.

I hyped myself up to leave for work, shaking off my depressive state so as not to be selfish to the fans. They deserved me at my best and I needed to at least make them happy even if I wasn't. Right now they were all I had.

...

I excused myself to freshen up in the bathroom. I also wanted to cry without an audience but it didn't help me if I looked like the worst kind of train wreck.

I sat in one of the stalls, silently exhausting my final supply of tears; I heard someone in the next stall being sick and I sympathised with her - she sounded very ill, probably food poisoning or a night of heavy drinking.

I washed my face in front of the bathroom's long mirror, and took to applying some tinted lip gloss to liven up my appearance.

Min stepped out of the stall adjacent to the one I'd been in and she seemed very surprised when she saw me.

"You heard everything, didn't you?" she asked nervously, coming over to my side.

"Yeah. Are you okay? Do you need some aspirin or coffee?"

"I'm not hungover, Zoe." She washed her hands and splashed some water on her face; I noticed that her eyes were red and her cheeks had faint tear streaks.

"Min, are you okay? What's wrong?"

I was concerned about her as I realised she wasn't acting how she typically would. At first I had thought it was her being considerate of my state of emotions but that wasn't it.

Tyler walked in to check on us - Min smiled at me and shook her head, something I interpreted as "We'll talk later."

Rae suggested we catch up and sob over greasy take-out and oddly enough Tyler didn't object. We watched a sob story at hers; Ty, me and surprisingly Min found it utterly romantic and very emotional.

Tyler left before ten p.m. as she had to work the following day. Min had been staying at Rae's, meaning us three were officially roommates again. Rae went to bed early that night, leaving Min and I up in the living room, cuddled up in a light blanket.

"Zoe, I didn't plan on telling you this way but I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore," Min began, turning to face me. "I'm pregnant, Zoe."