Survivors Of The Lost

18

I glanced at myself twice in the mirror. I made sure I was not too overdressed. My face was void of any traces of makeup. I had borrowed a burka from eram to wear today.

I was feeling nervous. I was having second thoughts. A week after the nikah I had given my consent for the marriage with shayan. Once I gave my consent shayan spoke to his parents. Everyone were so much happy about it.

"Bhaiya must be waiting. We are already late." Eram's voice brought me back to reality. Eram was talking to Umar. They both were in my room. We all were set to go but umar was stuck in a call. He indicated eram to wait. He disconnected the call after 5 whole minutes. Eram stomped her foot and went out of the room. Umar looked at me for help. I shrugged my shoulders amd followed closely behind eram.

I didnt know anything about shayan. But after the dream I had positive vibes from this. The often visit of suicidal thoughts were reduced to the extent of never returning after the incident of that day. I still shuddered at thought of that day. I felt stupid to even thinking about suicide.

Shayan proposing to me increased my self esteem. The same hope, dreams, expectations returned.

I encouraged myself to dream. I needed to dream in order to live. I wanted a purpose. I saw eram seated in the hallway using her phone. Tapping her foot impatiently. We were, indeed late. From the past week I and eram had become so close.

She was a friend I never had. I was still hesitant around her. I could not open up but I was doing great until now.

"Shall we leave?" Umar spoke. Eram just glanced at him and turned away without sparing him a second glance. Right then uncle Muhammad and ma walked out of their room all set to go.

This feeling was a different one. I had many opinions about him. I was having a mixed feeling of anxiety and excited. I was nervous. I was afraid. I wanted to why he wants to marry me. But at the same time a tiniest part of me is afraid to get my heart broken again.

Once we reached there, my eyes scanned the place to find the familiar face. It was the same restaurant where we had come for the dinner on Umar's nikkah day. This place held some bittersweet memories. But since this was shayan's favourite place or thats what I heard from eram, we decided to dine here.

Once my eyes spotted him, I saw him looking away from his mother or stepmother I should add. It was like they were in a heated argument. The atmosphere seemed heavy. Maybe he felt someone staring at him because, without a warning he turned towards me. Looking straight into my eyes, making me still.

Few seconds later, eram was able to spot shayan because now he was facing us. He waved at eram and stood up to greet them.

We neared their table. Umar and shayan did a manly handshake. Uncle Muhammad just tapped on his shoulder, a way of showing his happiness and blessings. This was already decided that I and shayan get to sit in a different table right opposite to them. So we can talk openly and they can can have an eye on us.

Once we were seated I dared myself to look up. He was already staring at me. I was taken back to my teenage life. This glittering feelings, the butterflies, the shyness. Everything.

He passed me the menu card. He gestured me to take it. I slowly forwarded my hands and took it. I went through the menu. My eyes concentrated on it. I knew many of the dishes. Which I had tasted but I didnt like it. So I settled on my favourite dish. Chinese noodles.

I handed the menu back to shayan. He raised his eyebrows. "Chinese noodles." I spoke. He nodded his head. He called the waiter and ordered for 2 plates of Chinese noodles. The glittering feeling returned knowing he was also considering having the same food as me.