Over You

CHAPTER 66

I stare at my phone, the black screen... just there. It was Friday afternoon. Isaac hasn't even written to me. I don't know if he expected me to write to him, but he should know better than to think I'm not petty. Cause I am, and I was also not wrong. Was he not upset that we weren't talking?
Maybe he wanted to go to that party a free man and have fun. But we weren't broken up, we were just mad at each other.
I hate that I was overthinking and thinking so much about this. I'm sure he's chilling with his friends fine. And I'm thinking because I care. I hate that I do. I hate when guys think they can do whatever like it's no big deal and then the girl ends up having to struggle.
This is why I'm scared to trust, I'm scared to actually fall in love. Guys are dumb.
I fall into my back and sigh loudly.

"Hey," Rachael walks out of the bathroom, her hair was curled in loose curls "What do you think of the hair?" She asks.
"Really pretty," I say and she nods.
"You good?" She asks.
"Yeah," I nod. "I'm just thinking of what I'm gonna watch tonight," I lie.
"You sure you don't wanna come?" She asks.
"If I wanted to, I would go," I laugh sitting up again.
"Fine," she sighs. "So, I picked out a couple of outfits, you just need to tell me what looks best," she says and I nod.
"Sure," I say.
She walks to the closet and changes into something. She comes out dressed in black skinny jeans, a tight black lace top.
"That's sexy," I say and she laughs.
"Okay, now..." she walks back to the closet and I look over to my phone, but nothing. Which wasn't surprising. "There's this too," she comes out dressed in a white flowy skirt, with a black crop top showing a lot of her midriff.
"That's more cute-sie. So if you wanna go for hot and sexy, the black if not this one," I tell her and she sighs.
"I don't know," she mumbles.
"Will Noah be there?" I ask and she nods. "Then that one."
"Not the sexy one?" She questions.
"It's Noah, so no," I shake my head.
"That's true, he's one of those," she laughs. "Okay, so I look good?"
"Hotter than ever," I nod and she smiles.
"Cool, I'll wear my white vans," she goes and grabs them. "I feel like shit leaving you alone here."
"Dude, I want to be alone here," I remark and she sighs. "Just tell me the details when you get back."
"Anything from Isaac?" She asks and I shake my head. "What an asshole. Can I like rip him a new asshole?"
"No," I laugh. "It doesn't matter. If he wants to be like this, he can," I shrug. "Don't make him regret it, he should know."
"Right," she sighs. "But Isaac..." she drifts and I nod.
She stands up and grabs her bag. "Okay, I'm gonna go now," she says.
  "Have fun," I tell her.
  "I will, I'll see you in a bit. Unless I find a hot guy," she smirks and I laugh.
  "Okay."
  "But come by anytime if you feel like it!" She adds.
  "Rach, bye!" I wave her off and she laughs.
  "Okay bye," she blows me a kiss and leaves.
I sigh and grab my laptop. It's gonna be a long night.

~

I was watching Friends on Netflix later than night, with some ramen noodles. Cause that's clearly all every college student eats, I can vouch for that.
There was a knock at the door and I look at the time. It was only 12:30. Couldn't be Rachael yet. Unless she's having a bad night. Maybe Jude. I put some stuff to the side and get out of bed.
I open the door and I see Isaac standing there, looking down at his shoes as he leans against the door frame.

"Isaac?" I question and he looks up and trips just a little bit.
"Hey," he slurs. He was drunk. "You didn't come out tonight."
"No, I didn't," I mutter.
Was he just gonna act like nothing happened because he's drunk now.
Drunk again, as he's been a lot these days.
"You're mad at me," he says.
"Yeah, and I don't think we should be talking about it while you're drunk," I admit.
"Can I come in?" He asks, but before I could answer he steps into my dorm. I sigh.
"Isaac," I say.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"You're drunk."
"But I'm sorry," he says. "I am," he mumbles. "And I missed you," he walks over to my bed.
"We can talk tomorrow," I tell him.
"But, I want to be with you right now," he says. "Please."
"Isaac, you're drunk and annoying," I said. "So..."
"I know," he nods. "And I'm sorry... and I'll say it a billion times," he slurs. "Can I please stay?" He asks. "I don't like... not being with you."
I stare at him arms crossed.
"We'll talk tomorrow, right away," he kind of burps. "S'cuse me."
"Why did you come here tonight?" I ask.
"I was thinking of you," he said. "I missed you, and I hated that you weren't at the party..." he says. "I really needed to be with you, and see you. I wanted a hug."
I sigh looking around the room. "Babe... I feel like an asshole, and I know you don't want to talk to me right now. But can I please stay with you tonight... I don't want to be alone. And I want to talk tomorrow," he says. He was leaning against the bed and he runs a hand through his hair.
"Fine," I mutter. "Don't even think about touching me," I get onto my bed.
"I can't promise that," he climbs into the bed after taking his pants off and his shirt.
"I'm still mad," I say.
"I know," he mumbles pulling the sheets over him. "What were you watching?" He asks.
"Friends," I say.
I hated that he came to me while he was drunk, and not sober. So he could actually talk about what happened. Yeah, I did like that he was here with me, but I was pissed still.
"Ah," he nods. "Jennifer Aniston is kinda hot," he adds.
"Yeah, she's cute," I agree. I grab my laptop and press play. He was laying down and I was sitting up a little bit.
"Liv," he mumbles, his voice raspy.
"What?" I ask.
"Thank you," he says. "And I'm sorry if I was an asshole...." he drifts, I could tell he was already on the verge of sleep. "I can be stupid sometimes," he adds his voice slow and quiet. "But.." he says. "I love you," he mumbles and my eyes widen and I look down at him. He was hugging the blanket, his floppy hair was messy.
He's drunk. It didn't count because he's drunk right? No way.
He yawns and I soon heard his light snores fill the room.
Isaac just told me he loved me. I was in complete and utter shock right now. Holy shit.

I turn back to the show playing on my laptop, but my mind just kept repeating his words. "I love you" 3 words, 8 letters. Those words somehow meant so much, and he just said them to me, on a drunk night. Of course, on a drunk night.
I pause the show and put my laptop to the side, I couldn't concentrate on that right now. I turn the lamp off and lay down on my back, staring up at the empty ceiling.
"I love you"
He was also half asleep!? Half asleep and drunk. That doesn't count, does it? He won't remember this tomorrow, will he? Even if he did, I doubt he'd bring it up again. He could've just said it at the moment, or maybe even because he's drunk and wanted me to forgive him after everything.
Was there a possibility of him meaning this? He told me he's falling in love with me. That doesn't mean he loves me... and... I don't even know. God. Why did he have to be drunk? If he weren't, I wouldn't be overthinking this so hard. Dammit.

~

I wake up with Isaac's long arm around me, and my back was pressed against his chest. I move away slightly and then around. He was still peacefully asleep.
Then the memory of last night fills my head. Him saying "I love you" before falling asleep. What would happen when he woke up? We still need to talk about him being an asshole before, will he even bring up the I love you? Probably not. I felt myself freaking out. I grab my phone and it was 10:30. I rub my eyes and sigh loudly. I look over and Rachael wasn't in her bed. So she didn't come home then?
Isaac moves turning over on his back. I sit there silently. I almost didn't want him to wake up soon because I didn't want to talk. All I could think about were those 3 words.
I get out of bed slowly and go to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, then douse my face in water to stop myself from over thinking. Just brush it off, he won't even bring it up again.

When I walk back into the room, Isaac awake, sitting up and running his hands over his face. I felt panic seize through me.
He sees me and I could tell he was hungover as shit.
"Morning," I mumble.
"Hey," he croaks his voice raspy.
I go over to my desk and take a seat at it. I didn't know what to say to him.
"We should probably talk huh?" He says after a minute of silence.
"Yeah," I nod. It goes silent again.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I know it was stupid of me coming here drunk last night," he adds. "I do feel like a total asshole after what I did to you," I run a hand through his hair and sighs.
"I don't understand why you got so mad," I said.
"I just..." he drifts. "I don't know..." he relents.
"I'm sorry for asking so often, but I am just looking out for you," I say and he nods.
"I know, and that's why I feel like such an asshole," he groans. "I think I was frustrated because I wasn't having a great day and..." he sighs. "I don't know, because I don't want to make an excuse," he says. "I'm sorry, I am. And you shouldn't be sorry for asking. I know you're being nice," he says. "Maybe I'm not doing the best, so I got defensive about it," he mumbles and I nod.
"I just want you to know that I'm here and you can talk to me. Because I know that it can be hard to express things. You don't have to say anything. I don't want to push, but I want to make that clear," I say and he nods.
"I know that," he says. "I just don't want you to worry about me," he stammers. "I don't want to be... a problem."
"You're not a problem Isaac," I say. "I'm obviously gonna worry, you're my boyfriend," I say.
"I know," he mumbles picking at the blanket on the bed. "I'm just sorry okay, I really am. I hate fighting with you," he mumbles.
"Why didn't you come earlier then?" I ask.
"Because I thought you needed space," he shrugs.
I guess I probably did need the space. Maybe I would've yelled at him a day ago.
"Fair," I nod.
"I feel like an idiot, and you didn't deserve that," he says.
"It's fine," I say.
"Fine?" He asks.
"I mean it, I'm not like holding some anger to you," I laugh. "Trust me... I don't hide my anger," I add.
"Yeah," he slightly grins. "I feel really bad."
"Don't, it's fine now," I said. "It doesn't matter," I stand up.
"Come here," he tells me and I walk over to him. He reaches out and grabs my arm pulling me toward him on the bed. "I'm sorry."
"If you keep saying sorry, the fight will still be around, and it should be now," I say.
"Okay," he says. "Sorry... I mean."
"Shut up," I laugh and he grins. He pulls me into a kiss. And even though it's been just 2 days I missed the taste and feeling of his lips. He moves his hand up to the crook of my neck and I cup his cheeks, relishing in this kiss.
"I missed you, and it's only been 2 days," he sighs pulling only an inch away from my lips.
"Yeah, me too," I admit. He kisses my lips lightly, and I get up onto the bed to straddle him and turn our small kiss into a make-out session.
Thank god we're back to normal.
But that one thought was still stuck in the back of my head.
I love you.