The Story Of Riley

f o u r t e e n

It had been approximately 14 days since Shai committed suicide, and to admit it everything I once enjoyed seemed pointless now--- without her. I felt like I couldn't breath, eat, or stay awake if that makes sense, the only thing that brung me peace in this time of pain was sleep and I often did that alot.

I'd cry for hours upon hours then fall asleep to stop the tears, just to wake up an relive the whole agonizing cycle.

When the funeral finally approached, I sat in the last row of the chruch watching all of Shaianna's friends and family. It took me so long to realized I wasnt the cause of the pain she went threw it was theirs.

The so called friends, her so called "supportive family", the loyal and honest boyfriend and the sight of them made me gag.

So I turned my head and their she was, the person I hoped to see the most today she wore a nice flow black dress that reached just above her knees, stockings that paired with strapped heels, black gloves, a oversized hat, and lastly sunglasses to hide the tears she shed.

I couldnt believe how beautiful she looked compared to me trash. The only thing I could find for this day was black jeans and shirt, and dark sneakers.

Once she turned to look at me I snapped my head abruptly to show I wasn't staring.

Her walking towards me indicated I was caught red handedly.

"Hello Riley how have you been" she stated towering over me

"Struggling"

"Please dont sass, when their is so much pain in the air" she spoke while taking a seat beside me

"Wouldnt you know mom"

"If your asking then, yes I do know I've lost quiet a few people in my youth too my love" she replied fixing her glasses on her face

I then burst into tears and hugged onto my mom tightly " mom how could she, I miss her so much  I cry more than I'd like too, but it doesn't help at all" i uttered pushing my head into my moms shoulder to hide the loud cries "this is so hard for me mom" my mom started rubbing the back of my head as she always did when I was a little girl "Im so sorry mommy for how I treated you, and I've learned my le-lesson i just want to come home I cant go back to a place that reminds me to much of Shai I think i'd kill myself" I add while lifting my head up to look at my mother in the eyes

" of course sweetie, I've been waiting for you so long you dont know how much I missed you pumpkin" she states while pulling me in for a bear hug that i so needed. Who would have thought a funearl would bring a family back together.

When the funearl ended everyone gathered back at the Smith's house, who were nonetheless Shai's mom and dad. There was so much food around my stomach growled loud enough for a group of teens to look in my direction. I hadn't eatin in days and i wont start now, i know it sounds like im starving my myself but honestly im not everything is okay.

As I started walking around and giving my condolences to her family I remembered the letters Shaianna handed me that night, they were address to 5 people me, her mom, her dad, August, and shockingly Abigal.

Confusion and shock entirely express the way I was feeling right now. Nothing was making sense, why was the last one addressed to Abigal? Since when were they ever close friends? These questions clouded my mind when approached Shai's parents the first time today.

" Oh hi riley, I've been meaning to come talk to you today but with everything going on it's been pretty hard for me" she spoke shifting her posture and placing both he hands on my shoulders " its fine i'm im leaving soon i just wanted to give these letters too you that Shaianna handed me that night" the look on her face changed drastically like this was sign from God or closure as to why her daughter killed herself