it should of been us - ethma

06: flashbacks

ethans POV

I parked at home and got out and went straight to my room and layed down running my hands through my hair and let out a loud sigh, honestly, school was boring, everyone either seemed to be talking about me or scared of me- I dont even know what there is to talk about.

emmas POV

I got out of the car and went to the kitchen and looking for something to eat and closed the fridge and sighed sitting on the counter looking out the window at the backyard, halloween was in two weeks and I had no idea what I was gonna be, maybe I'll just stay at home this year and sleep. 

I heard the front door open and turned and look at it, as dumb as it sounds, sometimes I hope its Zach, even I know hes never coming back, I snapped out of it shaking my head and gave my mom a weak smile and waved.

"Hey sweety," she said in a tired voice and took her jacket off and yawned walking into the kitchen making coffee. 

You see it wasn't always just the two of us, it used to be, both my parents, my older brother Zach, and I, but things changed and now its just the two of us, we don't get along that often, my mom thinks I'm a rebelious teen with no respect but I can asure you I'm not, but I do get a bit angry sometimes. My Mom works very hard so I try to let her no shes appricated as much as I can, she lets me get away with alot of shit as pity for me I think, but shes a very sad person no matter how hard she tries to hide it, and it hurts me to think that sometimes I add on to the pain.

"How was work?" I asked getting off the counter.

"Stressful," she said giving me a small smile and going to her room, "oh and you're not going to that party tonight," she said before she closed her door, I groaned and layed on the couch turning on the tv knowing I would probably sneak out eventually, I heard footsteps come down the stairs and ethan opened the door and brought in two boxes of pizza and started going up the stairs but noticed me staring so I looked away. 

He made his way back down and sat on the couch but as far from me as possible putting the pizza on the coffee table and focused on the show I was watching, I looked at him then the pizz as I sat up straight leaning on the arm rest and gave in after 4 minutes and took a slice of pizza, what? I was hungry. 

We just sat there in silence, a good 4ft between us, watching tv, and eating pizza, kind of like old times, Ethan and Zach would be watching tv and I would just come down and join them and we would all laugh and joke around. 

ethans POV

I looked over at emma and noticed her face had dropped, she was scratching her arm and looked very pale, slightly shaking but she looked lost in her thoughts, I raised an eyebrow, "emma?"

emmas POV

After I started thinking about Zach I couldn't stop, he was my only sibling, my bestfriend, and the person I trusted the most- even though we did fight 24/7, I felt Ethan reach over and he touched my shoulder gently and I completly broke down, everyone else has hope that Zach will return, but I know the truth, hes never coming back. 

"w-whats wrong," he asked rubbing my back gently, he looked confused. I pushed his arm away and looked at him with tears streaming down my face, "how dare you come here and act like nothing ever happened?? you ruined my life, you did this to me, Zach is gone and its YOUR fault ethan," I said standing up, " I hate you," I said as my voice broke and stormed upstairs.

ethans POV

I did not expect that, I took a deepbreathe standing up and watched her run upstairs and sighed looking at my hands, I knew this would happen, Mrs. Chamberlain told me that sometimes emma gets flashbacks and gets really upset , sometimes of her dad and sometimes of zach, shes like a ticking time bomb, but something makes me feel like that wasn't even the explosion.