Soft Hearted (Park Chaeyoung)

Falling (1)

Chaeyoung's POV

Currently, Blackpink is on tour, about three-fourths of the way complete. I would say that I'm on tour, but together the four of us are Blackpink, unstoppable.

I chuckle at the thought, yeah together...we're unstoppable...I'm unstoppable. Alone and I'd be nothing. These past few months I haven't been good, far from it. I'd rather keep quiet about these thoughts though, I know I should talk about them, but that will just make Lisa, Jennie, and Jisoo worry. They already have so much to deal with. Lisa with constant discrimination, Jennie with hate, and Jisoo being so underrated. I could never make their plates fuller, I think my eyebrows furrowing. Or maybe telling them wouldn't be so bad if they ever found out about the constant thoughts I've been having they'd be hurt, possibly even upset.

No don't be so selfish, they don't need your problems weighing them down

I think as I tighten my grip around my microphone, sitting down waiting for soundcheck and rehearsal to start. As the wait continues, my mind wanders back to our performance in Amsterdam. (The tour stops are based on the Blackpink In Your Area World Tour)

Blinks were great as always, they never fail to disappoint, everyone was brilliant and flawless. Everyone, except for me. I thought back when my voice had cracked when singing Stay. Immediately I got embarrassed and flustered hiding my face in Lisa's shoulder. When the song ended, Lisa and Jisoo lightly laughed while recalling the incident and had Jennie slightly giggled saying my reaction was cute, Blinks agreeing with loud cheers. Normally, it wouldn't have been a problem, but something inside of me changed, I became more judgemental about myself. Just because it was cute doesn't mean it should've happened. To add on I made a couple of mistakes in the choreography to several songs. Surely the moments were caught on video, everything is always caught on tape. If Lisa were to see, she'd kill me, at least she should. I just wanted to be perfect for Blinks and my members.

I cried, I cried backstage when changing our outfits and getting touch-ups. I kept saying that I had messed up and my voice cracking to my stylist and the crew. They looked at me with sympathy saying that it was okay, they couldn't even notice. (Similar to Jimin, if any of you know) Were they telling the truth? Before going back on stage I told them not to tell my members, they can't know that I cried over such a pitiful thing. They still don't know. I really do hate keeping secrets, especially from them but they are better off not knowing.

Not knowing how much better they'd be without me.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes when suddenly there was a hand softly placed on my shoulder and on my own that was gripping my mic harder than before. I must have gotten tense when thinking. Quickly blinking away my tears, I looked up to see who it was. Dark hair, bright eyes, and a warm heart-shaped smile, from Jisoo greeted me. She was dressed casually since it wasn't the real performance, but that didn't stop her from looking stunning.

"Pretty", I thought to myself.

"I really don't know what you're thinking about, but you better stop, or else that poor mic will snap in half", She said in a joking tone intertwining her hand with mine, saving the microphone from any damage.

I just shrugged, not trusting my voice causing her to frown a bit.

"I'm serious, I don't like that expression you're wearing Chaeyoung-ie", using her thumb on her other hand to rub in between my furrowed brows. "I don't like it when you're not smiling."

I smiled slightly, she was so caring and attentive.

"Now that's more like the Chipmunk I know and love", she says as she sits next to me, our hands still in an embrace.