dakota's POV
"happy valentines day, dahlia." I heard josh's familiar voice whisper in my ear. I turned from my locker, startled, and saw him standing before me with a bouquet of roses in one hand and I hoc of chocolates in the other. my heart swelled with appreciation and I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"thanks," I said softly.
Josh was my boyfriend. we were both freshman, and we had been together on and off for about a year. I did love him, but our relationship wasn't exactly, well, healthy. we fought 24/7 and broke up and got back together about once a month. the only reason I kept taking him back was the familiarity and security. for me, the spark had left a long time ago.
so, I did LOVE Josh, but I was not IN love with him. even when I did think that I was in love with him it didn't even compare to my feelings for...someone else.
I was in love with my best friend. Alexis. Ah, warmth engulfed me at just the thought of her name. I knew that she was bisexual, but there were so many guys all over her at all times that I just didn't try. and I didn't want to hurt Josh. besides, I was hardly her type.
speak of the devil, just as I was completely lost in thought about her, she walked by in all her flawlessness. I tried to stare as discretely ad possible as she passed me.
god, she was beautiful. dirty blonde hair, an amazing body (she could stand to gain some weight though in my opinion), huge and captivating bright blue eyes and absolutely perfect lips. her lips were my favorite thing about her and I dreamed about tasting them day and night.
she continued past me to her locker and when she finished putting some books away she came up behind me. she wrapped her arms around my stomach and hugged me from behind. "good morning!" she said cheerfully.
oh my goodness. with her arms around me my heart started racing and I felt as if I was going to pass out. I tried my best to keep my face from betraying my emotions. I couldn't let either of them know what I was thinking.
when she let go of me she noticed Josh's gifts in my hands. "awh!" she exclaimed. "did you get those for her, Josh? that was very sweet of you."
Josh smiled. "thanks Alexis. I was hoping she'd like them." he glanced and me and looked concerned. "you ok Dakota?"
I came back to reality. my mind had been lost in thoughts and fantasies about Alexis. I guess I looked a bit out of it.
"yeah, I'm fine babe. thanks again for the flowers. they're beautiful." I gave him my best fake smile and he seemed fooled. I hugged him and the bell rang. phew, saved by the bell, I thought to myself. "well I better get to English."
Alex's POV
BUZZZ!!!
I groaned and rolled over to turn off my stupid alarm clock. ugh, today was valentines day. dammit. how depressing. sure I had plenty of guys to choose from; ones that would be more than happy to give me a good valentines day. even if it was only to try and get in my pants.
but no, I didn't want them. there was never any guy that even came close to who I really wanted.
Dakota.
ah, isn't it a beautiful name?
I had been in love with her for years. she might not look like my type, but there was no one I cared about more, and vice versa. she was my best friend. we had been inseperable since 7th grade.
we argued a lot, but that didn't bother me. we couldn't stay mad at each other for more than 5 minutes. she made me laugh and she made me feel good about myself, when everyone else only made me feel like a whore. she was the only thing that made me get up in the morning. Dakota Striker was what made my life worth living.
I didn't like to think of myself as bi or lesbian; pretty much I was just in love with Dakota and wanted to spend every waking and sleeping moment with her and that was that. but I could never tell her that. she was happy with her stupid little boyfriend.
well, I shouldn't have said that.
josh was a nice guy. and I guess I shouldn't harbor any ill will toward him. but I've never been good at coping with jealousy.
also I suppose she wasn't "happy with him". she hadn't told me everything, but from what I could tell, she was not as crazy about him as he was about her. she had once even told me that she really liked someone else. ugh. probably some stupid other guy. perhaps even another girl. but not me. never me. she could never like someone like me.
what do I mean by "someone like me", you ask? well, let's just say I'm not an angel. I drink, I smoke, and I'm not exactly a virgin. I don't sleep around or anything I mean I'm only 15, but it happened once or twice. and practically everyhing besides actually doing it is usual for me. I suppose my title as slut isn't exactly inaccurate. especially in a small private Christian school.
I know Dakota hates that I do all that stuff. I know it kills her to watch me destroy my body the way I do. so I don't exactly know why I behave the way I do. I want to please her. but at the same time, I know I can't be with her. so what's the point in trying to be a good girl?
and I guess the guys distract me from my feelings for Dakota. they take my mind off it sometimes. sometimes I think maybe someday I'll even find a guy I can fall in love with.
but usually I know better than that.
after laying in bed for several minutes having a mini pity party for myself, I finally drug myself to the bathroom. I did my usual routine, a little slower this morning since I was a bit depressed. when I finally finished, I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door
Dakota always got to school before me, so on the way to school I braced myself for most likely seeing a lovey scene between her and Josh when I got there. whataya know, as soon as I walk down the freshman hallyway there she is, in all her stupid unique beauty with her stupid boyfriend handing her flowers and candy. as I walked by I felt the familiar stab of icy pain in my chest, but I had gotten used to that. I put on my best happy face and approached Dakota after going to my locker.
"good morning," I said as I wrapped my arms around her. was I a terrible person for always looking for excuses to touch her like this? if she knew my ulterior motives were much more than friendly affection, she might be a bit freaked out.
oh well. I didn't care.
I held on to her for as long as I felt would look normal and took a deep breath, letting the smell of her perfume wash over me. eh, I figured since I did this I might
as well put on a good show; make sure they don't think I'm crushing on her or anything.
"awh! did you get those for her Josh? that was very sweet of you." *would you like me to punch you in the face Josh? as if you deserve her.*
I really shouldn't be so mean, should I?
"thanks Alexis. I was hoping she'd like them," Josh replied, smiling.
*you wouldn't be cheesing so big if you knew what I was really thinkin, boy.*
After fake-smiling back at Josh, I looked over at Dakota. she looked like she had zoned out a bit.
"you ok, Dakota?" Josh asked.
she came out of her reverie and looked at him. "yeah I'm fine babe. thanks again for the flowers. they're beautiful."
Gag! I thought to myself. I couldn't take any more of this disgusting lovey dovey stuff. *please ring bell, please ring*
as if obeying me, it rang at that very moment. *phew*
Dakota took one last look at me and Josh and said "well, I better get to English."
