Honey | Gini

Ten

Nini's POV

I used to like campfires. By "used to" I mean I did yesterday. Today, I'm more focused on how my hair is going to smell permanently of smoke after this, how the raw honey tastes blander this time, how the laughter of my friends around me is grinding my last nerve. And Gina is on the other end of the yard, talking with Ricky and avoiding my eyes. I was completely stupid for thinking she might like me. It's becoming achingly clear that she does not, and she never will. 

When I burn my third marshmallow, Kourtney finally concludes, "You are not okay. What's going on?"

I sigh. "I don't want to talk about this here."

"Wanna go inside?"

"I guess."

I look at Gina again, and that only pulls apart the few stitches that I just sewed in my heart. When I step into the living room with Kourtney, the lack of external noise causes everything inside me to raise in volume, and she doesn't have to ask me to speak before I spill out like a tipped bath tub. 

"I have a crush on Gina, and I thought she might've liked me, but now she's not even talking to me, and I could've sworn we were about to kiss today at the lake and—"

"Slow down," Kourtney says. "Start from the beginning. You have a crush on Gina?"

"Yes." 

Now that I'm not rambling, my body fills the open slot by making my hands fidget with my sleeves. 

"I didn't even know you liked girls."

"That makes two of us." 

"So when did you start liking her?" Kourtney asks. 

"I don't know when it started, but I realized it yesterday when she looked at me, and I just knew."

Kourtney nods. 

"And now Gina's pretty much avoiding me."

"When did that start?" 

"I almost kissed her at the lake, and she ran away."

"Oh." She just looks at me, probably wishing there were some kind of best friend guide book that would tell her how to handle this situation. 

"I was naive to think she might have feelings for me too," I mutter.

"Nini," Kourtney says, placing her hands on my shoulders, "if she doesn't see how great you are, then you're too good for her."

Although I know she's trying to make me feel better, it doesn't. The heartbreak remains like a scar on my skin. 

"But I really, really like her," I respond. 

Kourtney frowns, and being drained of words, she pulls me into a hug. It doesn't fix anything, but it's a good reminder that I don't have to stitch my heart alone. 

Gina's POV

"So," I say, "how did you get that bird to land on your head?"

Ricky chuckles. "Big Red had dried cranberries in his pocket for some reason, so we put some in my hair to attract it."

He sits beside me on the grass. We're both a little bit away from the rest of the group. I chose to be here since I wanted to keep as much distance between Nini and me as possible, and Ricky saw me sitting alone and decided to join me. We both sip grape sodas together while we talk, mostly about mindless things, and whenever a topic dies out, I immediately start another one, my sole goal being to keep Nini out of my brain, but when Ricky starts telling me about how he and Nini once made a birdfeeder with dried cranberries together, I feel it would be kind of weird if I didn't ask the obvious question.