Forever

Fourteen

My head hangs low recalling the awful memory. I move to the bed to settle my nerves. I rub my hands nervously up and down my thighs, Derek comes over to try and soothe me causing me to push him away, this was on me, this was my misstep.

"I came to see Dino after the first three months. I stayed in Spain for the first two searching every inch of the city. I came to my senses and figured Dino would know so I flew back to California and went to see him. Rose was still off the grid and didn't even know you were gone, so I went alone. I begged him and begged him and he lied to me over and over again until I told him..."

"Told him what"

"That I was pregnant." His face pales his eyes widening with fear. "I uh I was pregnant I was about four months, it was a girl...." He sucks in a sharp breath clutching his chest. "

"Dino was furious and took all his anger out on me. He called me every name in the book before he told me that you left because of me because you couldn't stand being with me. I didn't believe him, and I shared some words of my own. He claimed he would die before having a black grandchild, a grandchild he would share with a glorified crackhead" Derek's palms are shaking his breath heavy. He looks as if he's about to explode, and if I could provide him comfort I would but every bit of my strength is being used to tell him how I lost our baby.

"You know how your father gets when he's angry" I start. "He grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall, he wrapped his hands around my throat," I wince at the violent memory of his huge hands clamping around my throat leaving no room for air.

"I tried to claw his hands away but no use. I kicked and kicked" I pause to look at Derek. His head is low tears flowing down his beautiful face.

"He um... he released me causing me to fall to the ground." I continue. "He kicked me repeatedly aiming for my stomach. By the time he stopped, I was coughing up blood, barely conscious. I don't know how long I was on the floor, I woke up after a while in the hospital. You're Uncle Tony took me he stayed with me the whole time, he was there when the doctor told me I lost the baby, and he helped me get to New York, he set me up in my shitty apartment and told me to forget you, to forget Dino, to forget life in California." Derek sucks in a sharp breath.

"If he wasn't already dead I'd kill him" He utters. I smile softly. "God I'm so sorry baby," Derek says pulling me into him.

"I had a daughter" He whispers.

"Ella," I say softly. He pulls away taking time to analyze my face. I give him a weak smile.

"Ella," he says firmly, kissing my forehead before pulling me back into him.

Ella.