You May Be Young But You're Ready

21

Today was finally the day. Qaron's funeral. I was nervous, I didn't want to see him in that casket. I just knew it wouldn't feel right. A small part of me wanted to ball up and cry like a baby, but I couldn't because I knew Ronny would want me to be strong.

I stepped out of the shower, walking out of the steamy bathroom and into my side of the closet picking out a nice all black dress along with a pair of all black heels that my momma had let me have.

Daddy was at work today until tonight and Zaire was at his friends house. So it was just me at home, all alone. I had some time to gather my thoughts and relax my mind before heading out.

Mani was coming to get me in a few, we were all going to meet up at Momma Sha's house. All because Ronny's boys insisted to do a little drive by memorial before and after the funeral. I hated hood niggas so much.

I slipped on the little black dress after putting on my bra and panties then the heels. I stood up, taking a look at myself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful Nelle.." I heard a whisper call from behind me, causing me to turn and look around.

I was losing my mind, I swear Ronny was still here. Trying to talk and conversate with me. I grabbed up my phone after hearing it ring, it was a text message from Mani telling me that she was outside. So I grabbed up my purse, shut off all the lights then walked outside to the car and stepped in.

"Oh my God! Girl, this man's house is so fucking beautiful!" Mani squealed as I stepped into the car, making me laugh. "Yes! I knowwww girl, I can't wait until he die so I can have it all to myself!" I joked, causing us both to laugh as she pulled off.

The car ride was so awkward because all we tried to do was keep our minds off of Ronny and how we're going to be putting him in the dirt today.

Finally getting to the street we all lived on, it was packed! Full of hood niggas looking like hood niggas with a splash of class. These guys cleaned up nice, very nice.

It had to at least be 200 people here. Cars parked on each side of the street and even in the middle!

As I stepped out of the car I was approached by Tray. He had cut all his hair off into a low cut! I was so shocked, that boy swore he would never let anyone touch his curls.

"Heeey Mu!" He smiled, pulling me into a tight hug. I could tell he was doing better but he wasn't one hundred percent yet.

I guess everyone was trying to keep their minds off the funeral until it was actually time to go. I walked over to Momma Sha to hug her and say hello, but she was talking to someone. My momma. I knew she didn't have anything to say to me, anything nice that is.

"Mm, look what the devil done dragged up in here..." Momma rolled her eyes and said as I approached her and Miss Sha. "Oh, Leslie! Leave that girl alone." Miss Sha said, taking me in for a hug while momma rolled her eyes and walked off.

"How you doing baby? Your momma told me about you and Antwan, he's a good man! Very beautiful inside and out. I don't blame you for going up in age for a man. Me and my husband were 28 years apart, but we both knew it was real love. But listen here baby, don't never let a man treat you less than what you is. You understand me?" Momma Sha smiled and held my hands in hers. "Yes momma! I understand, but today is about Ronny. That's all I really want to focus on."
—
Whew! It was time. We all stood outside of the funeral home, waiting to walk in. The closer I stepped to the funeral home, the more my stomach knotted up. "Chanelle, calm down!" Mani said, I guess she could feel my body shaking as we held each other's hand.

"Good Morning Baker Family and friends! We will begin in just a moment... " The lady who was running the Funeral informed us all.

And that moment seemed to fly right by, before I knew it the double door were open and sad music was coming from inside. All I wanted to do was run to the back of the line, we were right behind Momma Sha, my Momma and Tray. And behind us were Ronny's homeboys then everyone else.