You May Be Young But You're Ready

26

I sat nervously in the waiting room at the hospital. They wouldn't let me see her which made me even more nervous. None of the damn doctors or nurses would answer any of the questions that I had. I was ready to kill every motherfucka' in this damn place.

"Chanelle Langston?" The nurse finally came from the back, calling her name.

"Yo, that's for me! Please tell me everything is okay. How is she? Is she awake yet? Come on man, talk to me! Tell me something!" I bombarded him with all my questions and concerns. "What are your relations to the patient?" He looked at me, giving me a dirty look. "She's my gir-. She's my daughter. Can you please tell me she's fine?" He read the papers he had in his hands and motioned for me to follow him. We walked down the long, cold hallway. The closer we got to her room, the more I grew upset with myself. I never meant for any of this to happen, I didn't think it would go this far. I just hate when she doesn't listen to the shit I say.

"You can see her now..." The doctor stopped in front of her room door, watching me as I walked in.

My baby was all banged up! I couldn't see her like this. She had bandages all around her head, a busted lip and a black eye.

I was becoming a monster! I hated it.

I went and sat down on the couch that was next to the hospital bed, holding her hand in mines as I bowed my head and shut my eyes then saying a small prayer to God.

It wasn't long before one of the lady nurses came in. She seemed to be more professional than the other ones here.

"Your daughters accident must've really been bad! She lucky to even be alive. She was awake a little earlier but all the pain killers she's on has put her to sleep. She might not wake up until tomorrow afternoon, possibly." I nodded as she said while adjusting my baby's arm so the I.V doesn't fall out.

"She does have a minor concussion so we're going to keep the lights deemed in here just in case. We've also ran a few test and luckily she's all healthy! And the baby's fine also!" She added.

"Baby?" I looked up at the nurse, confused as all hell. "Did I just hear that right?"

"Yes! Baby! She's about 6 weeks pregnant. Congratulations grandpa!" She smiled and turned the lights down.

"She's actually my daughter in law, but thanks anyway! Do you mind doing a DNA test? I want to be sure it's my sons before breaking the news to him." I said, trying to pull it off so I don't get caught up.

"Yeah, sure. We do Grandparential DNA test all the time. We'll just need a sample of your blood." I nodded as she informed me. "Okay, cool."
-
Back where we started, in this cold ass waiting room. Now that I knew my baby girl was going to be alright, it was time to find out the results for this DNA test. I still couldn't believe she was pregnant. But before I made any kind of decision I wanted to be sure it was mine. If it wasn't mines, it had to be Darnell's and if it was, all three of they asses would've been going in the dirt.

"What the hell did you do to her you trifling animal?" I heard Chanelle's faggot ass best friend yelling out. I stood up before he got over to me, I didn't want to have to put his feminine ass on his pockets in this waiting room.

"Tray! Don't! He not even worth it. She's good. Don't worry about him!" Imani said, running behind him.

I laughed in his face, I couldn't take this man serious. It would've been like arguing with a woman, and I never do that shit.

"You're really a weirdo! You need to be in jail! You fucking pig." He rolled his eyes then walked off with Imani.

"I should've popped yo' gay ass just like I did your big brother." I smirked as I watched him turn towards me in shock, with his jaw dropped to the floor, ready to cry like the little bitch he was. I thought he was about to run up on me, but he didn't. He ran out of the hospital crying like a little bitch.

"Mr. Kean?" The nurse called me, causing me to turn in her direction grabbing the papers that she was handing over to me. "As I said before, congratulations!" She smiled and walked away.

I sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting room. All kinds of shit was going through my head right now.

My dumbass was about to have a baby with a baby. I was so worried about getting caught up by other people but I got caught up in myself.

What the hell was I going to do? If motherfucka's found out that I was on some pervert type shit I was definitely over with. I would've been fired, my babymomma would've took the kids from me and my ass would've been locked up for a couple years.

I didn't believe in terminating of a child, so an abortion wasn't even in mind. I just would've had to be careful about who I have around Chanelle during all this shit.

After sitting in the waiting room, reading the results over and over I finally decided to go back into the room with my baby girl. I was so happy to see that she was awake and alert! "What's up beautiful?" I smiled as I walked over to the bed, kissing her head before sitting down.

She was better off sleep because she wasn't saying a single thing to me, she wouldn't even look me in my eyes. I felt kind of bad, I regreted putting her through all this. This was my final straw, I was going to get help. She was my women not my punching bag, my baby deserved better than this. But I was going to do that, not no other nigga, me. I was going to change for my baby, both of them.

"Chanelle, the doctors said you're pregnant baby!" I smiled and looked at her. " I know." She uttered. "Why didn't you tell me sweetheart? That's good news, I'm happy for you baby girl."

I must've struck a nerve because she turned towards me slowly, giving me the dead stare. "Happy for me?" She shouted. I knew right then and there to not say shit else. I've never seen this side of her and hell, I was kind of shook.

"Nigga, you're the reason I'm here! All because of you, I should've never went to the club that night. I wish I never met you, you've done nothing but cause me pain and broke me mentally! Physically too! I have 2 broken ribs and a concussion because of you. I HATE you Antwan!" She yelled at me then went back to watching TV like nothing was ever said.

I just sat there, quiet as kept.

My baby was hurting, because of me. Everything she was saying was true. I don't regret meeting her but I do wish we could go back in time because I'll do everything right without a doubt.

"I'll be back babygirl..." I had excused myself from the room, walking in the hall to the bathroom.

I locked the door and shut the lights off. I could bare to look at myself in the mirror. I hated myself!

I started reminiscing on everything good me and my baby had been through, but even all the good things turned into something bad. Everything we did resulted to me putting my hands on her or my kids.

Who was I becoming? Who was I?

All these negative thoughts flooded my mind. Maybe I deserved to die. All I do is cause people pain.

Tears flooded my eyes as I slide my back down the wall. I never cried but it felt like all the shit I've done was coming back to haunt me. I screamed, cried, screamed louder, and cried some more.

I grew strong enough to stand to my knees and did what my momma told me to do during hard times, pray!

I shut my eyes and folded my hands together.

"God? I know the last person you want to talk to, especially after all I've done to innocent people. Good people! You gave me so many chances and allowed so many amazing people in my life and I ruined it all. Momma, I know you're looking down at me in shame. I know I wasn't raised this way but- I just don't know momma. I'm sorry for it all. Big man? I swear to you that I'll stop all the drinking, all the drugs, everything. Please help me help myself. I want the best for me and my family. And please look over my women and my unborn child." I begged and pleaded for God and his forgiveness.