An Instinct

Rain on me

Rain. A very familiar presence to Legoshi. He always used to gaze at it outside of the cold window. Watching the raindrops freely fall from the sky only to get splattered onto the ground. Like tears. Tears as crystal clear as despair itself. Legoshi felt this deep pain within his heart. His timid and blank eyes accentuating his large and lanky demeanor. But if you were to unfold this large wolf, you would find this little pup.

Wondering where his mom was. She locked up in her room trying to suppress and compose herself. Only to be neglecting her son. Only to see him and him to see her through a little hole through the door. It wasn't like she didn't love him. But Legoshi felt that way. Feeling this overwhelming pain and detachment from his mother. From himself. From the world. 

He especially felt this pain from her suicide. The last interaction she gave him. A hug when he was supposedly asleep. It was like he had fallen on a pile of glass shards when he had the knowledge that she took her own life. He felt like it was the end of the world. His world. His mother. Legoshi felt so much resentment towards himself. Thinking that he could've done something about her dark death.

For the most part, he blamed himself but he also blamed his grandfather. For letting his daughter keep herself isolated in the dark to hide from the light.

To this day, Legoshi lives with this guilt in his timid soul. This overwhelming pain. Like the rain. He himself wanted to fall freely but would have to suffer the consequences of getting splattered to his death. Judged by his world's society. Judged by himself.

He almost felt worthless. Depression circling him where ever he went. His inner monster clawing at his shy and timid soul. Crushing himself. For what? Life with instincts? Playing this game and then destroying the rules as you go along.

Legoshi's eyes gazed out off the window as his roommates slept. Taking his hand up to the window and writing "I miss you so much." He let a tear run down his furry face. He slapped his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't make a sound.

The wolf leaned back into his bed while letting glossy tears run down his face. he let out a muffled shaky breath. Only to sob uncontrollably in his hands. 

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, the wolf jolted to the corner of his bed in defense. He looked up with glossy eyes. Only to meet a certain golden retriever. His best friend's worried eyes gazed at Legoshi's sad form.

Jack only felt an ache in his heart when he saw Legoshi shaking. Pity engulfing him. Jack knew about Legoshi's dark trauma and how it followed him around. He knew that on rainy days it would only get worse. He pulled his companion into a tight embrace. Letting a tear slid down his face as well while Legoshi was sobbing violently in his arms.

Jack felt the pain reverberating off of Legoshi's form. He felt pain for his best friend. Jack closed his eyes and listened to Legoshi. 

After a while, Legoshi had calmed down, but still had his eyes water like the rain outside. Jack gave him one last hug before sending Legoshi back to sleep with a forehead kiss. 

Legoshi laid there slowly drifting off into the darkness with a frown across his face.

Pitter-patter, Pitter-patter...Like the rain, I want to be splattered...