Unsavable

.1.

6 months earlier...

It's 2am.

My blood shot eyes are screaming to be shut however my chaotic mind inhibits me from doing so. Undesired thoughts grace me with their unwanted presence shattering my resolve, my will.

My heart beats frantically beneath my ribs like that of an untamed wild beast begging to be set free from this torturous agony...

Sleep refuses to come forth and claim its place on my tired soul leaving me to suffer. I want to scream, I want to shout but all that passes my chapped lips is a silent breathless whimper...

No sleep will grace me tonight.

I am trapped in this endless cycle for hours to come. My eyes still wide open by the time my alarm goes off for work.

I lack the will to move. I don't have the energy to reach over and stop the irritating sound. I let it ring for a few more minutes before finally giving in and reaching out an arm to turn the stupid thing off.

I just want to stay in bed today and do nothing but there are many reasons why I can't. Sighing in defeat, I get out of bed. My body is exhausted from the lack of sleep but I drag it towards the bathroom.

My reflection is probably one of my biggest insecurities. The only thing I always see are my endless amount of flaws that I find in my appearance.

Once I have showered and gotten dressed, I once again find myself in front of my bathroom mirror, I put a few eye drops into my eyes and pull out my makeup. Concealer is my best friend in times like these and I apply it vigorously under my eyes to hide my dark rings. I lightly apply the rest of my makeup, grab my things and head out.

I live in a decent one bedroom apartment in the middle of the big city. It's ideal for me and affordable which is surprising considering it's location.

Greeting the receptionist and thanking the doorman as I leave, I head in the direction of a little café situated cozily around the corner.

I'm not someone who particularly likes coffee, in fact I rather dislike its bitter taste but I need something preferably warm to kick start my day. I need the caffeine.

While I wait a few seconds for my order, I catch myself eyeing the cakes on display, but unfortunately they have the opposite affect on me today, instead of seeming appealing like they normally do, I have no appetite for them or anything else. I hate that I am like this...

I reach down in my bag for my purse to pay when I realise I forgot it in my apartment. Just great. So much for the coffee...

I'm about to apologise when an arm reaches past me and pays in my stead.

"Here let me pay."

Slightly startled I turn to see a tall good looking man behind me. He is dressed fashionably with a coat and scarf due to the chilly weather.

His facial features are rather pleasant to the eye and his blonde hair is styled neatly, albeit somehow slight messy. I noticed that most women in the café were indiscreetly eyeing him. His hazel eyes turn back to me as he hands me the cup.

"Thank you, but you didn't have to." I put on a smile.

"No need to thank me." He gave a charming smile in return and properly moved around me to pay and collect his order.

"No, I really mean it. Thank you again. I owe you one, if we ever meet again."

I turned to leave however he seemed to be going in the same direction, and easily kept up in stride with my quick pace.