Unsavable

.9.

I knew that I would most likely not be able to fall back into a peaceful sleep again so I did not even attempt

I glanced outside through one of the windows. It seems the rain had ceased its pour. Still in my pyjamas, I grabbed a coat and put on a pair of sneakers.

I made my way out my apartment. I did not want to leave the building due to the ungodly hour making it most likely very unsafe so I chose to go up.

I took the stairs, in times like these I preferred them. Thankfully I live quite high up so it did not take me to long to reach the roof.

As part of the city's plan to reduce its urban heat island and high pollution rates, roof top gardens have been introduced and encouraged and as a result my apartment building complied.

The garden was nothing fancy, the building has quite a number of stories after all so it was not easy to introduce a lot of larger plants.

There was a lot artificial grass as real grass was a little to high maintenance according to some of the residents. The area had a low level of soil that was neatly tucked in around the sides of the artificial grass with a few bricks making some what of a path in places. Small plants, flowers and a few bushes were nearly littered all over. Small trees stood in pots in random places and a few wooden benches were placed along near the edges.

The area was not small but neither was it large. It was perfect for children and small pets to play in to get some air.

A few solar powered fairy lights lit the path and ran randomly along the bricks that separated the artificial grass and soil. They were also tangled in some of the trees. The garden was nothing fancy but it was kind of cute.

However since it was nearly 2 am, it was void of life. It was quiet, some may have said that it was eerie and a little creepy but I felt differently about it. It was peaceful. I hardly ever visit the roof and when I do, I prefer it to be like this.

I took a deep breath and started making my way to the edge of the garden. The air was cold and a chilly breeze blew about.

I looked up to the sky, it was still overcast and I could hear the distant thunder. I knew it would rain again soon.

Unfortunately living in a city, there is bound to be light pollution. The clouds reflected some of it back giving them a orange brown colour. They no longer looked pretty.

When I looked forward again, I was a little surprised to see that I was not the only one on the roof tonight. A silhouette of a tall lean figure was leaning on the ledge looking out to the city below.

Whoever they are, they were lost in their own world. I felt as if I had intruded in on their privacy. I did not wish to disturb them.

So I decided to leave them be, I turned around and began making my way back.

"Is someone there?" The voice was male and was not loud. For some reason I was drawn to it, it was if it was something familiar. A strange feeling.

I turned to face the silhouette. His position had changed, turned to face me. I still could not make out his features, it was too dark.

"Sorry, I did not realise anyone would be up here at this hour. I did not mean to disturb you, I was just leaving." I apologised.

"No, it's okay. You can stay." His voice sounded empty now. Almost as if he felt  defeated.

I walked forward again. I made my way to the ledge as well but made certain to keep my distance from the figure.

Not a word was spoken between us as I glanced out towards the city. Even at this hour, many were awake. The city never sleeps.

I closed my eyes and tried to gather my thoughts and calm my mind. I let the numb feeling embrace me. I let it wrap its cold arms around my chest, my heart and my very soul.

I let out a breath.

"Do you ever feel lost?.." The silence was broken between us. It was almost inaudible but I heard it. His voice was carried by the wind.

"Yes..." I replied back softly. All the time.

My eyes were still closed as I relished the breeze on my skin.

"I feel like I'm drowning..." The stranger spoke again.

"I know the feeling all to well." I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands that gripped the ledge. It was true. I don't know why I told him this, it was not like me and I subconsciously felt relaxed around him and I did not register it in my mind.

"But be careful not to be consumed by it." I softly added.

"You speak from experience?"

"Unfortunately... The world is a cruel place, only the strong who never give up survive..."

There was silence again for a few minutes before he replied to my words.

"Have you given up?"

The question surprised me. I glanced up towards the figure. His head had turned to me. He had his chin resting on the palm of his hand with his elbow against the ledge.

"I'm alive right now aren't I?" Was my response.

"But are you really?"

Again the question surprised me. I pushed myself up from the ledge and took a step towards the stranger.

"You ask a lot of questions to someone you don't know." I casually voiced.

"And you certainly have a way with words." He retorted.

It started to spit. Light droplets of rain began to fall.

"Goodbye stranger. Don't give up."

I started making my way to the door.

"Wait. At least tell me your name."

I stopped and turned to face him. He stood closer now, it was still to dark to make out his face but I could see the light from the fairy lights reflecting in his eyes and slightly outlining the bridge of his nose.

I was silent. I did not know if I should tell him or not. It was not like I was planning on seeing him again.

"This may sound weird but I feel completely at ease around you. Something I haven't felt for a long time."

I wanted to say that I felt the same which shocked me and before I even let myself ponder on those thoughts, I whispered, "Andrea."

The rain began to fall harder.

A flash of lightning struck lighting up the sky and the area around us causing me to shoot my gaze up. I really needed to get inside. It was shortly followed by a loud bang of thunder.

"You coming?" I voiced my concern to the stranger. He was staring at me, not moving. It was like he was in a daze. Not thinking, I grabbed his forearm and pulled him with me when the next lightning bolt struck and dashed for the door.

Once we reached it, it was like he had snapped out of it. He stopped in his tracks.

"You go on in. I... I forgot my phone." He did not give me the chance to refute and gently pushed me through the door before slamming it shut.