Unsavable

.11.

An irritatingly loud sound began to intrude on my slumber forcing me awake. I dug into my pyjama pocket and turned off the stupid alarm. I was disappointed, although I was not asleep for long, it has been a while since I have achieved a sleep as peaceful as that.

I may have slept well but that did not mean sleeping upright in a chair did not come without any consequences. As I leaned forward I let out a muffled groan as I realised how stiff I was. My poor muscles ached in agony at any movement I enforced on them.

After a great struggle, I managed to hoist my stiff body up onto my feet. I placed a hand on my upper shoulders and lower neck and began to rub in small circles in the attempt to loosen them up. It was painful.

I then made my way over to the past out figure on my couch. I placed my free hand on his forehead to check his temperature removing the cloth in the process. I was relieved upon noticing that it had dropped and returned to normal.

He let out a deep groan and rolled over, his eye lids twitching ever so slightly in the process. I debated whether or not to wake him up. He looked so peaceful however and so I chose against it and let him be for now.

I got into the shower thankful as the hot water soothed some of the stiffness out of my muscles. I finally gave myself a chance to think about the events that took place last night or should I rather say in the early hours of this morning.

Isn't he supposed to be overseas right now?

Why was he here, in this apartment building no less?

Was he visiting someone?

That must be it because surely someone of his caliber would not live in a building like this...

I still couldn't believe that I had not recognised him but then again he had changed so much. He was no longer the boy I once knew and called my best friend.

It has been years but I just can't seem to let go of the memories. I'm still stuck in the past too scared to let it go even though I should have a long time ago. I cling onto it even with all the pain it brings, even though its unhealthy because for the very reason it let's me feel something. It gives me a reason to not feel numb, it makes me feel human.

Fuck...

I placed my forehead against the wall and the the water dribble down my back.

He just had reappear in my life didn't he...

I don't know how to react to him. I don't know how to handle this situation. He looked and sounded so desperate. I don't know what to do.

I could just tell him everything when he wakes up, but I don't know if I can. It's hard enough just being in his presence again, I don't know if I can dig up the past and not break down in front of him when he gazes at me with eyes that don't remember anything.

I got out of the shower and got dressed and ready for work. Shane was beginning to stir. I did not know if I could face him right now.

I debated whether or not to just leave and run away but logic told me this was my apartment. I couldn't just leave him here.

I cleared my throat when his arms stretched out and his droopy eyes opened drawing his attention to me. It was like something snapped. His eyes widened and he quickly sat up.

Unfortunately sitting up to quickly like that came with consequences and he groaned and clutched his head for a minute until he regained his senses.

I poured him a glass of water and pulled out some tablets to take.