Playing Rough

Chapter XIV

Chapter XIV ─ Mixed Emotions

[ M I C H A E L   G R I F F I N ]

Four days.

It's been four days since I nearly made out with Bryan Clay under the unrelenting moonlight. It has also been four days since I interacted with him in any way, shape, or form.

You could say I was a coward. You could say I was running away and hiding from my problems, but I'd beg to differ. Now that I've had a lot of egregious time to think over this entire debacle, distance seems like the best remedy for this awkward tension between Bryan and me. I wasn't exactly ready to ponder and explore my potential bisexuality either. I had a girlfriend, who was the one person I could confide in when the world went to shit, and whether I liked guys all of a sudden or not, shouldn't have mattered in the slightest.

On the other hand, Bryan wasn't exactly eager to have a conversation either. That night, I wasn't the only one completely down to lose all the shackles and devour the aphrodisiac that was another man's mouth. It would have been stupid of me to assume that Bryan wasn't going through this hardship with me.

It got me wondering though, was this attraction new to Bryan, had he known about it before that night? Had I been blind to it throughout growing up next to him? Or was he knees deep into uncharted waters just like me? One thing was for sure though, we needed space. A lot of space.

I was afraid that if we forced ourselves to bring it up so soon, it wouldn't end well for either of us. Not with Bryan's serious anger management issues and his stubborn self. I wasn't on a mission to get my nose broken or my lips bruised by my former best friend, I was on a mission to get my best friend back.

Things were going so well and I nearly fucked it all up because of my odd desires. That was a classic Michael Griffin move right there, ladies and gentlemen. 

It was already Friday and we were getting ready to head on back home, this fall 'break', if you could call it that, had been more exhausting than relaxing. Both mentally and physically, my muscles felt like they were on fire all the time, I even began reconsidering my career choices, before they were set in stone.

This football camp thing, sounded more fun than it actually was, I expected a fun time with my teammates, playing some football and absolutely not getting overworked to the point of existential dread. It was a boot camp and I was sure to never go back to one if I could help it.

Five days felt like an eternity mixed with this underlying drama and tension between Bry and I. I was glad to say good riddance to that stupid camp, that looked so innocent and captivating under the moon's supervision. I was glad to say goodbye to the starry sky and go back home. I missed my mom's cooking, even if it had been only five days.