Playing Rough

Chapter XX

Chapter XX ─ Void

[ B R Y A N   C L A Y ]

By the time Michael dragged me out of my house, I was already on full autopilot mode. I was embarrassed beyond belief, the fact that Michael had to deal with one of the most prominent demons that haunted my dreams didn't sit well with me. I was scared—petrified—of what was going to happen next.

The cat was out of the bag, Griff knew everything I tried to keep locked away for so long and I was not sure where it left us. He knew I was gay, he knew about my sister, my family. I hated this nagging feeling in the pit of my gut, telling me that things were only going to get worse from this point and onwards. Bryan Clay strikes again with his casual pessimism.

The walk to his house was a silent one. Unbearable tension accompanied every step we took, but that was rather common between the two of us as of late. It was a pity that this tension would likely cloud our visions for a while longer.

I would have given anything to know what was going on inside that ginger head of Michael then. A part of me was curious to know what kind of light he painted me in after everything that went down earlier that afternoon. Another part of me wanted to run away and never look back again. I couldn't wait for graduation, I couldn't wait to be finally free of this shithole town.

Was I acting like an absolute coward? Yeah, I couldn't even deny it. It was all I ever did, I hide and cower away from issues, avoiding them like the plague itself. Now, I was caught between a rock and a hard place, I had nowhere to run, the world had the time of its life with me and left me gasping for air in the worst way imaginable. I felt like I was going to succumb to my thoughts all over again. A breakdown was on the horizon and it was rapidly approaching, however, this time there was nothing I could do about it. I was too weak.

That's how I felt, I felt powerless with Michael's firm grip on my forearm, ensuring that I had nowhere to run. I couldn't help but ask myself, did he pity me?

I didn't think I could take it if he did, my pride had been royally beaten down over the years, but it couldn't suffer that kind of a blow without breaking me. The only thing I wanted from Michael Griffin was for him to love me as much as I loved him. I clenched my fists and shot a look at my ginger nightmare. Michael focused on the sidewalk ahead of him, his cloudy green eyes intent on finding the way home. He didn't do as much as spare me a look and I was grateful for it.

By the time we stepped into the driveway of Griff's humble abode my thoughts had gone past being irrational. Any cohesive thoughts had long gone and I was crafting up futile plans of escaping this awkward situation and disappearing for a while. If only things were that easy.