Playing Rough

Chapter XV

Chapter XV ─ Intoxicated

[ B R Y A N   C L A Y ]

I was screwed, royally screwed in the head and I had only Michael Griffin to blame for my torment.

It had been a little over a week and a half since that awful night in the boot camp. I could practically feel Griff's lips on my own, I craved it and he did too. The thought of Michael wanting me alone was enough to send me into hysterics. 

It was a reckless display of our vulnerabilities that should have never happened in the first place, there were so many questions and so little answers that it was beginning to hurt. More than it already did. I shouldn't have gone to that stupid boot camp, would've saved me a lot of physical and emotional pain, that's for sure.

But what's done is done and now I was left with confusion, deluded hope and a hole in my bedroom wall. My pills couldn't stop me from lashing out again, Michael had that effect on me. It wasn't healthy, much like my attraction to him.

I ran a finger over my bruised knuckles and cursed under my breath, what am I supposed to do now? What was once my biggest dream, turned out to be a nightmare. I had dreamed about Michael reciprocating my feelings, I dreamed about his lips on mine, I fucking had wet dreams over those stupid lips and the man who owned them. Now that I got a little ounce of what I wanted, I didn't know what to do.

All I wanted to do was run like a coward. I wanted to avoid him at all costs, make sure to distance myself from him again, but I couldn't. We had the assignment, we had to keep up the good work or I'd drag him down with me. I wasn't dumb by any means, I knew that Michael's scholarship depended on this stupid assignment. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined his chances at a good life over my stupid emotions.

I had to keep up the act that everything was okay when it wasn't, I had to move on from this little slip-up and never acknowledge it again. Hopefully, Michael would do the same, for his sake.

I wouldn't run from our vulnerabilities, I'd ignore them, and that's exactly why I accepted Jordan's invite to a party, where both East and West could coexist. It had been years since I've been to a proper party, where drunk teenagers raged and hormones raged, I had to act normal for once.

I let out a shaky breath and stood up from my couch. It was already nine in the evening, the party supposedly started at eight, but I was in no rush. I was kind of regretting saying that I'd go, my anxiety caught up to me, but I had to brush it off, there was nothing I could do now, I couldn't just bail.

I left my house and began the short trek to Jordan Might's mansion. Since I lived in the East I didn't have to catch a ride with any of my teammates, we practically lived in the same neighborhood, the music could be heard from the place I called home. The fact that I could run home was very convenient and oddly comforting.