Game Boy

21 - IRL

The settlement was dead silent now. A few players milled around, looking tired and relatively bored as their little Gamertags floated over their heads. Kenneth watched them from the cafe and set his chin in his hand.

So all quests are closed until the end of the Event Battle. Three days...I wonder how dead the server will become?

He stared down at his information box still floating in front of him, obscuring the drink he'd ordered and not touched. According to the box, he'd leveled up in driving and technology handling quite a bit--he assumed because of the driving he'd been doing. Combat was still low, but that didn't really matter. It would only have an effect if he was out there in whatever main event was going on.

Event Battle's were almost always combat-based. Hence why I avoid them, Kenneth though. It couldn't have been more perfect timing either. He swiped the box away and stirred at the iced tea, tilting his head to the side. A cough welled up through his lips but he couldn't feel any outward pain, which was a good sign. A few more days and he'd go into surgery, then he could be free. 

His shoulders sank down and he closed his eyes. What do I do until this battle ends, though? His fingers massaged into his avatars face. He swore he could feel it outside the game, but knew he wasn't really touching his face. That would be impossible. Someone else could touch him but--

Kenneth shivered and shook off the thought. He picked up the tea and took a gulp, letting the cold liquid wash down his throat and distract him from the sensation on his face. He set his hand down on the table after that. 

Flexing his fingers, he eyed the menu bar. Logging out seemed like the only possible option. Wandering around wasn't going to yield anything because quests were down. Real life, though, what would he do there? I suppose I could sleep, and hope she doesn't come in again. He frowned a little. His mother could be in the room when he came out of this, or she might not be. That was a risk he'd have to take anyway.

His eyes lowered to the time and he bit his lip. They'd be pulling him out for lunch soon. Well, I suppose that settles it. He set the tea down and reached up. His finger hesitated over the log out button, then he clicked it quickly and let the screen go dark. A small save sign appeared for a millisecond before disappearing again and the whole screen went back to the log in. 

Kenneth felt his own body rush back around him. He reached up blearily and gripped the headset, pulling it off. It weighed more in his hands than he remembered as he set it to the side and blinked. The while and grey of the room faded into the usual scene. He cut his eyes to the side where his mother had been sitting last time.

A sigh escaped his lips and he relaxed. She's not here, thank goodness. He stretched his arms out in front of him and bent his neck forward, feeling the strain in his muscles. Then he sat up a bit and twisted from side to side. His chest ached and he bent over, coughing, as pain rushed back over him. Kenneth slumped over his knees and hugged himself mildly.

"F-Forgot about that..." he whispered to himself and dropped his head between his knees.

The door clicked open. He didn't bother to look up, but bit his lip and prayed it wasn't her. She hadn't been standing in the hall waiting for him to get up, had she?

"Your lunch is prepared and served. Calorie intake has been upped from last week to ensure you gain enough weight for your coming procedure. Please be sure to finish all food before returning dishes. Enjoy."

The bot's voice droned through the air and Kenneth exhaled slowly before looking up. A tray was placed beside his bed on the side table and the bot's pre-programmed face flashed an electronic smile before it turned and rolled out. The meal-delivery bots, at least, had some manners, even if they were annoyingly optimistic.

Kenneth stared at the plate. It smelled bad. Not in a sour way, but he felt his stomach turn at what should've been a pleasant aroma. Pressing his lips together, he reached out and dragged the tray a little closer to stare down at it. 

Chicken, broccoli, biscuits, nothing out of the ordinary. Kenneth's nose wrinkled but he reached for the fork. If I don't eat, I can't get new lungs. Then I'll be stuck here with her. 

He stabbed at the chicken and tried to tear off a small piece. His stomach flipped with a nasty drop and he pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to keep from gagging. Just a few bites. He grit his teeth and inhaled. Then he shoved the bite in his mouth and chewed quickly before swallowing.

It didn't taste as bad as it smelled, but he felt his stomach recoil anyway. Leaning over, he clamped down his lips to prevent gagging and swallowed hard. How they expected him to eat all of this when he hardly ate anyway, he didn't know. It's for the operation. I can do it. He steeled his nerves and choked down another bite before putting the fork down and resting his head on his knees.

"This is going to take forever..." He pressed both hands to his stomach, wheezing softly. It smelled so bad, like a rank flower. His tongue pressed hard against the back of his teeth as he tried not to think about having to force it all down. Honestly, a feeding tube didn't sound so bad right now.

He coughed slightly and huddled up, pushing the tray away. Byrd could've done this. She probably would've done it without hesitating. She was strong like that. Then again, she was strong enough she wouldn't have gotten here in the first place. Kenneth sighed and let his head dip a little deeper between his knees. His hands shifted away from his calming stomach and he crossed them over his face.

"How did I get so messed up?" he whispered hoarsely into the thin air. A cough followed it and he arched his back against the sharp pain. Wheezing gently, Kenneth screwed his eyes shut and pressed his arms harder to his face. "I don't want to be here...I just want to be...normal. How?"

His chest hurt worse than normal but he ignored it as his stomach rumbled ominously and he grit his teeth. Normal people had lives, friends, good parents. They had warm homes to go to and people who cared about them.

Why can't I have that? Am I not good enough, or am I a bad person? Maybe there's a reason they hate me...

Whatever it was, he didn't know what it might be, but that didn't help the pain. A tear welled up into his eyes and he bit it back hard. There were cameras keeping an eye on him, just in case, he couldn't let them see him cry. No, strong people didn't cry.

"I want to be strong," he whispered and hunched his shoulder's forward.

Before his closed eyes he saw her, smiling. He pictured her handling this. Byrd would've done it with a glowing face and a bright attitude, never complaining, never crying. She didn't need anyone, not even him, because she was her own person.

Kenneth cracked his eyes open and looked down at the IV running to his arm. His gaze followed it up to the drip bag and coughed, then let his gaze fall again. He reached out and touched the VR headset, but didn't put it on. A tear slipped down his cheek and fell onto the sheets. His fingers faltered and fell short, his hands trembling as he shivered against the thin air. Weakly, he hung his head forward. "Why can't I be strong like her?"