Game Boy

24 - Aggro

Kenneth swiped the DM back up into the corner box of his screen and sat down. His eyes scanned the little neutral town and the horizon just beyond it. The game event ended in two hours. Maybe then she'd start asking how he was again? Maybe she'd just gone and taken his original hint.

Screw me. Why did I have to ignore her? His fingers fisted and he bit down hard onto his lower lip. Tilting his head back, he gritted his teeth to the sky and then let his fingers relax slowly. Like a noose releasing from around his neck. The knot remained, though, a reminder of the rope he'd hung himself with on this one. 

He exhaled and touched his chest. Had it been this quiet and dull beforehand? Wandering from town to town like a ghost just waiting for...what? Kenneth dug his fingers into his shirt and coughed lightly. What was I waiting for? He shivered and lowered his eyes to the drink on the open air table in front of him. He stood up and made sure to check that he'd paid before he wandered down the empty little street and back to where the truck was parked. Did Byrd want it? Would she come back for it? It wasn't his and it wasn't hers, it was just a game object, but they'd been using it together for some time now.

I guess I'll find out in two hours. He stepped outside as a breeze brushed over the grassy hills beyond the town. They rippled, like an ocean of green. The ocean surrounding this little island of his solitude. My own stubborn refusal to reach out. His eyes flickered to the DM box. He'd sent her one message. Simple, to the point. 'Hello.'  No lies, nothing fancy, just something to let her know he was still on the other side.

The question was if she was too, or if she'd finally moved on with her life. After all, it's just a game. I'm just a player, an avatar on the other side of her screen. People don't play games like this to buddy up, they do it to escape reality for a few hours so they can handle the rest of the burden that is life. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the side of the truck. Or they're like me and wish this was all there was to reality. 

He coughed and clutched his chest. It really burned. Probably something he needed to have checked out by a bot. Looking down, he brushed the top of his boot over the grass and wheezed softly. I wonder which one she is? 

His gut twisted. Kenneth looked back quickly up at the little DM box. There was nothing there. Why was there nothing there? He sighed and sank back into the cold metal of the truck's exterior. It should've been warm given the amount of sunlight right now. Seems even the creators of this world missed something. His eyes rose to the CGI heavens and he exhaled quietly. Is that what I am in the real world? A neglected detail? God, did you somehow miss me? 

Kenneth shook his head and looked away. What was he doing? This concept of god, of a creator. He didn't even believe it. He tapped against the inside of his pockets and stared at each finely turned blade of grass. Maybe I do want to believe it, I guess I just can't. Maybe I'm just tired.

The thought brought a yawn to his throat and Kenneth stretched his mouth wide and inhaled the warm air. He stretched his shoulders back and then climbed into the truck itself and kicked back in the driver's seat. He traced the dashboard with his fingertips. How was David doing? Was he caught up in all of this or were they safe?

"I should go visit him some time..." he thought. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and listened to the ambient noises amid the low soft music tones of the game. You hardly heard the music unless it was intense or something. He hardly ever tried to hear it, but it was finely crafted. Fantasy styled. A little outside his preferred tunes, but what did it matter? 

What did any of it matter? What do I matter? He turned his hands over in front of him and stared at the thin veins copied over from his real body into the game's avatar. So much detail, just to create an image that he could throw away in a second by getting himself in too deep or not watching where he stepped. Life wasn't something you cared about in a game, because the moment you died, you respawned.