I CANT STOP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU

1

I stare into the darkness of the night, a darkness the world have never seen. I see things that nobody else sees. I'm tired of this world. I know there is good people. I just haven't found them yet.
I've moved a thousand times, and I should know how to forget people and just move on. But I feel like thats how you kill someone. You talk to them all the time, you tell them what they want to hear, and you stop talking to them. Simple.
Congratulations you just crushed a heart.
●

"Suzy are you okay?" My mom said.
"Oh yeah, just a little stressed, I thought this was gonna be easy, about us moving like the other thousand times we moved, but yeah I am okay" I said with a shaky voice.
My mom is always taking care of me, specially when I am sad, or when we are moving, I think it's a little over protective.
Once I had to dance with a boy for dance class at school, and she just didn't want to take me to the day of the dance, she thought it was inappropriate for my age. I mean come on I was just 11 years old when that happened.
Any ways we only have each other. My dad died from cancer four years ago. I miss him so bad, I miss his laugh, even his hair, his hugs.
•
Today is the last day of school. I choose to wear a dress, just to make my mother happy. I never wear dresses only sweatshirts just because I need to cover the ugly scars I have in my arms.
"Good morning honey" my mom said with a smile on her face.
"Hey" I said back.
"You nervous on the last day on the last day of school?" Mom said
"Nah, just happy summer it's finally here, but I'm gonna miss my friends, and this house too" I said
We sat quietly eating breakfast, then I finally picked up my plate, said goodbye to her and headed out the door.
I get to the bus stop, and I see Mark, the same Mark since I moved to California, with his messy brown hair, and big smile. He is such a great guy. I would miss him so much.
"Hey" he said
"Hey" i said back
"So when are you guys leaving?" He asked.
"In two days" I said.
"Two days!!!" He freaked out when I said it.
"Yeah I know" I said
A long quiet moment passed. He seemed nervous, he was shaking and I could see he was sweating a little.
"I didn't know you were moving tomorrow, so, I really wanted to tell you something" he paused and then said something I never thought he would say.
"I just wanted to tell you I have been in love with you since the first time I saw you, I think you are just beautiful. I love you" and before I said something back, he pulled me to his lips and we kissed. I had always felt alone and he was always there for me. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't know what to do. We both took the bus and went to school together.
•
I didn't know everyone at school knew me, everyone in my team was hugging me and crying because I was leaving to Massachusetts (even the girls that were mean to me). This is so weird. It's like dying. Everyone starts talking to you like you were gonna die right away.
"Hey" said Danielle, who is my closest friend, after Mark of course.
"Hey" I said back. I gave her a huge hug.
"I heard you make out with Mark" she said, smiling and giggling.
"Actually he make out with me, I like him I do, but he is just not for me"
"Oh, I have already made a nickname for you guys"
I looked at her with a face that said 'really bitch'.
"Wow, you don't have to be so aggressive" she said.
We both laughed. We laughed for what seemed like an hour.
●
Before the end of the day I say goodbye to Danielle. She got so emotional she was laughing while crying and she was also mad at me. I promised I would visit her in the summer. She promised to visit me as well.
•
I got in the bus and Mark sat with me. IT FELT SO AWKWARD. After what happened this morning I could not think what to say. He took my hand and I just smiled. He smiled too. I loved him, but it wasn't that kind of love it was more like a brother love. We got off the bus and he walked me home (that was really sweet, but it felt awkward). He gave me a hug and we said goodbye.
"I love you " he whispered in my ear.
"I love you too" I said. But I didn't mean it.
I didn't.