He Who Took Care (Naruto fanfiction)

Chapter 11: Worthy of so Much

surprise!

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Time was a close friend and a stranger to Arashi Yukimoto. It was strands of gold and silver, wrapping around his mind and heart, lifting him as if he was a puppet for the ever-cruel world that he had to live in. It eluded him, leaving him to turn and tumble as everyone else moved on without him. The sky, he knew, was blue but he could not tell you what shades it turned when night came. Yukimoto could not tell you the color of the trees when autumn arrived, could not describe to you the smiles on people's faces when they walked down a path leveled with cherry blossoms from all around them.

Yuki wondered if his mother ever thought of him, or if his father even remembered his name. It had been so long since he had seen them, he knew he had lived past their time. Sometimes, if he really sat in a steady silence, he figured he may even be able to remember their faces. He had a sister once, a young girl with big dreams who only ever wanted to be like her brother. He still remembered the stream of tears escaping her when he said goodbye to her for the last time.

"Please! Please, Yuki, don't go!"

"I'm sorry... You know I..."

"Don't say it!" The anger was clear in her voice as she shook with the emotion. "Don't say you have to do this!"

Yuki only shook his head. "You know I love you, right? You'll grow to do amazing things, I just know it. You'll do alright without me."

Her loud cries still echoed in his mind, the only clear memory he had of the Before. Before his life became full of anger and tears, blood and bones, he remembered the smiles of his parents when he came back from a mission. He remembered holding his baby sister close when she graduated from the academy, spinning her around as he told her how proud he was. They would sit on a grassy field, the young girl braiding his hair with flowers she found as she told him all about her tests and the glowing words her teachers gave her. They were inseparable and maybe that's what made the Before so hard to remember.

Memories were a fickle thing, lifting you up and tearing you down in one swoop. Still, in any life, you couldn't help but hold on to those moments, to let yourself hope that, one day, it would all get better. Those memories, the good and the bad, were hard for Yuki to grasp, to nurture and remember. It did not mean he didn't try ever-so hard, his hands bloody and his mind weeping, to recall the Before and forgot the After. 

Moments like those, when it hit you hardest, you just wanted someone to hold you but the damn chains-

"Yuki?"

The long-haired man looked up, surprised to see Kakashi standing near the entrance with concern evident in his posture. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your team?"

"No," Kakashi shook his head, walking forward so he was only a few feet in front of the other man. "The other sensei are watching them. I figured it was alright if I hung out with you." He tilted his head, taking in the anguished look in the man's eyes, the way his shoulder were shaking. "Do you want me to stay?"

Yuki didn't even know he was nodding until Kakashi stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the man so his head rested against the ninja's chest. His shoulders were shaking, his frame shuttering minutely with sobs he refused to let out. It didn't seem to matter to Kakashi, however, as he simply tightened his hold, lightly rocking them side-to-side as he hummed softly.

"I used to have a sister," Yuki spoke quietly. He didn't move his head and Kakashi didn't release his hold, letting him speak when he was ready. "We... She was my best friend. I think- She must've been only eleven when I... Left. Sometimes-" He gave a wet laugh, leaning back to scrub his eyes, tears finally escaping him. "Sometimes I can't even remember her face."

Kakashi didn't say anything for a moment before he reached forward, grabbing his friend's hands to hold them in a gentle grip. "You're worthy of so much, Yuki."

"I don't deserve anything."

He shook his head, bringing the hands close to his chest as he hummed. "You're worthy of a world that doesn't deserve you."

With those words, Yuki found himself bowing forward, his hands clutching tightly at the Hatake's shirt as he shook, gut-wrenching sobs escaping him as he mourned a sister he never got to see grow up, a family he had to be ripped away from to keep the peace.

Kakashi laced their fingers together, rubbing soft circles with his thumbs on the back of his friend's hands, as he offered whatever support he could. There wasn't much he could say, for what could you say to a man who couldn't seem to die, who seemed likely to outlive them all?

"Don't go," Yuki spoke softly, though his words seemed to mean more than that very moment, than his physical presence. It was as if he was pleading with something out of his control but he couldn't help but try anyways.

"I won't." The Hatake stepped between the man's legs to put his hands on Yuki's hips, allowing the other to wrap his arms around him and curl his hands in the back of his shirt. "I won't leave you." Though he desperately wanted to swear on it, to promise that he would always stay, he knew it would only be cruel to the both of them.

"One day, you'll have to go and there is never going to be a day where I won't be sad to say goodbye."

Kakashi nodded, swaying a bit side-to-side. "I know... But for now, we won't have to. There's a part of me that feel like we won't ever have to say goodbye. I'll admit, there's moments where I feel like we could just walk out of here and I could hold your hand and show you the stars."

Yuki finally looked up at him, his honey-colored eyes lined with tears even as a smile tugged on his lips. "I think I would like that very much. Perhaps you could even take me to one of your favorite restaurants. I certainly enjoy the food."

"I want to take you everywhere. I want to show you the whole world."

The black-haired man sighed, moving his arms slightly enough that the chains clinked together, the sound seeming to echo. "You deserve the best, Kakashi."

"Good," He said, smiling softly. "That means I get to have you."

Xxxxxxxxx

Words: 1,110

Song: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow (with lyrics)