Broken Submission

Breaking

Derek couldn't even look at her. Somehow, during the silent drive home, all the rage that he had suppressed in the hospital had intensified, the pressure building in his chest into he felt he might burst. Jack had picked up on the tension, keeping his mouth shut even when Amelia tried to engage him in conversation.

Derek's hands twitched as rage coursed through him. He shut the door to his apartment behind them.

"You put yourself in danger." His voice crackled with anger. "Instead of trusting me and coming to me, you went off on your own to deal with a situation that could have easily ended with you dead in an alley."

"Sir—"

"No!" The word snapped through the air like a whip. "On your knees. If I hear one more word out of you before I'm finished, I will gag you."

She dropped to the floor, tears streaming.

He took a fortifying breath. "You made a commitment to me. I thought we had trust. But you broke that."

She sobbed.

"Now...." He stopped, and that pause was worse than any admonishment. "I am going to ensure that you are completely aware of the folly of your actions. After that, we are going to reevaluate our relationship, because it is obvious we are not on the same page."

"Sir," she whispered. "Please, I am so sorry." She struggled not to curl in on herself, trying to hold position for him. "I will accept any and all punishment you deem necessary. Just please, please don't leave me. I know that's hypocritical. But please."

Her last words were barely loud enough for him to hear. Her breathing was speeding up, close to hyperventilation, and his eyes narrowed in on her clenched fists. There was going to be a reckoning, but she would always come first.

He knelt in front of her and pried her hands open. Her palms were smeared with bloods, nails lined with it. Her breathing sped to an even faster pace at the sight.

He pulled her into his arms. "Sh... stop and match my breaths."

Her world was crumbling. Fear like she'd never felt before clutched at her heart. He was going to leave her. She'd ruined everything. She was going to lose him—Her chest burned, and her vision narrowed, black encroaching in her sight.

She barely registered when he knelt beside her, touched her, but she heard his voice. She could barely sob through the panicked breaths, but she tried to do what he asked of her. Finally, her vision cleared. Her body felt limp and used, void of energy and emotion. They knelt there together for an undetermined length of time.

At last, he lifted her chin. His eyes met her bleary ones, and she swayed. She didn't think it was possible, but tears sprung to her eyes once more as she stared into his. She was a failure—she'd failed him.

Derek barely restrained the bubbling emotions fighting within him. Fear, rage, concern, grief. Her pain-filled eyes meeting his was like a knife to the heart. Her panic attack was the worst he'd ever seen. Her whole body visibly shook, and she swayed where she knelt.

"Let's get you to bed." His voice was wooden, removed. It wasn't what she needed right now, but he somehow couldn't stop it.

When he went to lift her, she shook her head and placed her hands on his arm. "Please Derek."

The use of his name was like a shock to his system. His startled eyes met hers.

"I need—we need to do this." Tears trickled down her cheeks.

He shook his head. "Not right now. You're not in the mindset to handle what needs to happen. Plus, you're already injured."

She shook her head again, violently. "We have to do this. Please. Otherwise," her face crumbled, "otherwise, I don't know if we can make it."

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. She thought...but maybe she was right. If they allowed this to solidify without correction, they might never be able to more forward.

He touched her cheek. "Are you absolutely sure?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes sir."

He nodded and loosened the reins on his dominance. He slid his hand from her cheek to the nape of her neck and gripped the sensitive hair there, drawing a wince of pain. "Then go the the playroom. Strip, select three implements, and present yourself."

"Yes sir." When he released her, she hurriedly rose and ran to the playroom.

The gentleness that he'd used when she'd had her attack was gone. He was sinking back into his earlier anger. A shiver raked through her. She divested herself of her clothing at the door, folding it neatly. A touch of nausea fluttered through her stomach as she exposed herself, but she ruthlessly squashed it. She deserved everything that was coming and more. She could only hope that when it was over, he would be able to forgive her.

She didn't know how much time she had before he entered. She stared at the wall of implements. She had to choose things that could be used consecutively without permanent damage, but severe enough that it wouldn't seem that she was shirking her punishment.

Glancing nervously at the door, she selected a think leather strap, tough leather that left miles of welts in its wake. Next she grabbed a cane, not unlike the one he'd used when they'd first met. She remembered how it felt as it snapped across her skin, brutal fire. She shuddered. And finally, she opened a drawer to one of the things that she hated most in the world—clamps. And these were tight metal, one for each nipple and another...for her clit. She despised the invention, that kind of pain doing absolutely nothing for her sexually. This was pure punishment.

She laid everything out in a neat line. He hadn't specified what position she was to present with, but she doubted that she had much more time to decide. What best described her guilt, her shame, her need to be absolved?

She dropped to her knees, and they already ached from their abuse earlier. She slid forward, nose to the floor, back arched so far that her breasts brushed the wood. Her spine protested the position, and she arched it further, accepting the pain. Her backside was presented, high in the air, her legs spread wide enough that nothing was concealed. She crossed her arms and placed her forehead on top of them. Now, she had only to wait.

I think there might be a fly on your vote button... why don't you flick it to make sure?