Charlie Barley is clueless. On his return to New York City after a weeks-long retreat in the Canadian wilderness, Barley bungles his way through a world turned weird by COVID-19 - until a call from his niece explains all.
Written by Andrew Lanfer (a...
The next morning, Charlie woke up to a knock at his door. And then another. And then another. (He was slow to react.)
"I'm coming! I'm coming! Enough already!" he said, as he climbed out of bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
He opened the door and, at first, didn't see anyone there.
"What the...?" he said, then heard a cheery, if muffled, "Good morning!" from slightly down the hall.
"Was I snoring?" he asked, sticking his head out the door, and spying his neighbors, the Teitelbaums - Tim and Tanya, and their son, Timmy.
All of them were, of course, wearing masks and, due to the Coronavirus, standing six feet away from Charlie.
"Welcome home!" said Timmy. "How was the fishing?"
"You called my phone and thought I was missing?" asked Charlie.
"No!" said Timmy.
"I'm sorry," said Charlie, "I'm having trouble understanding you wearing that mask." And Charlie took a step closer.
They all took a step back.
"It's because of the virus," said Timmy.
"Pits of papyrus?" asked Charlie. And he stepped closer again.
The Teitelbaums stepped backwards.
"It's COVID19!" Timmy explained.
"You're feeling green?" Charlie asked, "All of you?" And he stepped closer again.
They stepped backwards.
And this dance of good intentions and misunderstandings carried on and carried the group out of their building, out of Brooklyn, across Staten Island, and into New Jersey.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Charlie, by that point, mercifully, gave up the chase. He was feeling desperate for a cup of coffee.
The Teitelbaums all breathed a sigh of relief and, keeping a safe distance between themselves and Charlie, walked back home.
