Resisting Temptation (A Kyoya Ootori Fanfic)

Chapter 20

(Seina's POV)
The next morning I was awoken by a maid who had been sent to summon me for breakfast. After my refusal was ignored, I rose and changed. A pale blouse and blue jeans seemed about right. My uncle hated blue jeans. Then I made my way downstairs to the dining hall.
As soon as I noted the company at the table, one person in particular, I began to back away. Unfortunately my mother had materialised behind me, the hand she'd placed on my shoulder forming a death grip. She kept her face perfectly pleasant so anyone watching would see simply a normal morning greeting between mother and daughter but I saw the warning look in her eye. 'After your performance yesterday, you need to sit down and be a lady.'
I worked to keep the scowl from my face and settled into a seat between the twins. Identical index fingers were quickly prodding my cheeks from either side. 'Cooled off yet, oh angry one?' I swatted away their hands irritably.
In my suddenly unstable world, at least they were the same annoying prats they'd always been. Haruhi had clearly been dressed up by the maids, decked up in a delicate summer dress, laced with ribbon. She looked somewhere between deeply uncomfortable with the formal situation and enchanted by the spread of food before her. Her eyes met mine and I looked away. Haruhi always knew more than she should considering her obvious naivety in some circumstances. For instance she was oblivious to the blonde, sat one chair down who was gazing dreamily at her.
I sipped at my tea distractedly, I hadn't even noticed the maid pouring it and I wasn't really in the mood. Especially since I was not ignorant to the boy who was staring intently at me from further down the long table. I wondered if it had been his choice to sit with his family instead of his friends. Then again, he'd made it perfectly clear where his loyalties lay.
Feeling slightly sick, I rose unsteadily to my feet. I heard another chair scraping across the floor and came face to face with the one person I never wanted to see again but was somehow bound to. His face was carefully neutral and I resented him for that. How dare he mess with my life then look at me so calmly.
'Seina. Can I speak to you please?' My stomach churned uncomfortably and I gazed back at him with all the disdain I could manage.
'No. You also cannot address me so casually. Goodbye.' I tried to ignore the sadness in his dark eyes as I reminded myself that he was a sadist and a sociopath and god knows what else.
Then he grabbed my wrist and drew me towards him. I reacted on rage and instinct. I swung my arm at an opposing angle, forcing him to release me. Then, before he could recover, I grabbed his arm and twisted it hard behind his back, forcing him face first against a wall. I pushed my weight against him and placed my lips beside his ear, my voice low and threatening. 'Don't. Touch. Me.' I released him and stalked out of the hall, ignoring the voices shouting after me.

I spent the next couple of days avoiding him and keeping busy. The last thing I needed was for him to provoke another incident that would secure my fall from grace. I worked every second of the day until my Uncle and mother refused to give me any more on the grounds that I was ignoring my obligations. I resented that. I hated the silence, alone in my room. The only thing to fill in the blanks was my own mind and I didn't like the paths my thoughts chose to tread. He had worked his way into my brain like a parasite and all of a sudden, I found it difficult to think without him leaving footsteps on my mind. Trying not to think about him was driving me insane. I hated myself for the fact I enjoyed those moments before I caught myself thinking about him. I hated myself for the fact I missed him. And most of all, I hated that I couldn't even admit those things to myself.

The next time he tried to speak to me, I was having tea with Satsuki and the twins in one of the sun rooms. Unfortunately the three of them were getting on like a house on fire, sharing the same particular brand of petty mischief.
'Where is Haruhi?' I wondered aloud.
Kaoru looked up at me from where he was sprawled across Hikaru's lap. 'I'm pretty sure that his highness whisked her away into the gardens after lunch. I haven't seen either of them since.'
'The boss is with Haruhi? I presumed he was busy consoling Kyoya-senpai...' Hikaru winced and trailed off as he caught the look on my face.
'Consoling?' I demanded.
'Uh well, I just mean...I don't think he intended to claim your wrath and he's struggling with the shock.'
Kaoru interjected before his twin could dig himself a deeper hole. 'Seina we're on your side really. He should have been upfront with you. It wasn't right for him to keep something like that to himself when it impacted you too.' I nodded slowly, relaxing back into the sofa. 'What I don't get is why you're so worked up about it. I mean, no offence, but I have never seen you so out of control. Normally you would have made some icy, threatening comment then stalked away. He would have turned up dead a couple of days later. So, what is this all about?'
Satsuki frowned at the two of us. 'You don't know?'
'Satsuki.' I growled in warning.
'Know what?' By this point Hikaru had perked up again and was also watching with interest.
'About Seina and-'
'Satsuki!'
Kaoru stared at me for a moment, his eyes growing wider by the second as I watched the cogs turning in his head. 'So that's it. That's what all this is about.'
'That's what!?' Hikaru cried irritably, clearly unable to put the pieces together in the same order as his brother had.
'And Haruhi knows too? That's why she's been acting so sheepishly recently.'
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. 'She caught us together at the party.'
'The dance party!?' He gasped.
'What? No! God no. The recent one.'
'Right ok.' He appeared to be processing the information. 'Why didn't you tell us?' I raised an eyebrow as if he had just asked a ridiculously stupid question. 'Ok, I get it. Fair enough.'
Hikaru was looking around in growing frustration and bewilderment. 'I don't get it at all! What is going on!?'
Before anyone had to answer him Kyoya appeared in the doorway.
He must have spotted us through the glass partitions and decided that fine afternoon was one to ruin. He knocked politely to announce his presence but stood so his slim figure blocked the doorway. He wasn't going to allow me to catch him off guard again. As soon as my cousin saw him she rose to her feet.
'Well, you two have a lot to be talking about and I really should be going.' I gave her a poisonous look and she settled back down again with a sigh.
'We're busy and you're not welcome here.' I could almost feel him pushing his glasses up his nose though I remained stubbornly turned away from him.
'Please talk to me.'
I barked a harsh laugh. 'You and I have nothing to talk about.' It had not escaped my notice that Satsuki had been frantically tapping at her phone and I was not surprised to hear footsteps approaching. Let them deal with him instead. I should be able to enjoy my tea in peace. But he spoke again, his voice low and soft.
'Seina. I love you.'
A flash of anger shot through me so fast I barely processed his words. I surged to my feet with deadly grace and hissed, inches from his face. 'Don't you dare lie to me. You have lied to me enough for a lifetime and I cannot stand to look at you. I would rather die than marry you. I will kill myself before I say the words 'I do'. Get out of my way.' I could tell my words had hurt him and that impenetrable mask of his broke for a moment as he flinched.
For some reason, rather than staying my hand that made me all the more enraged and I grabbed the half empty teapot and upturned it over his head. He didn't move, he just stayed completely still, tea dripping from his hair and chin, soaking into his clothes and pooling on the floor. My brother stood behind him in the hallway, too late to have stopped me but right on time to witness my latest crime. I thrust the teapot into his arms as I stormed past but didn't say a word.

Two days passed and to my great relief, I didn't see him once. He must have been deliberately avoiding me, his pride wounded by my words. I told myself that I didn't care but I felt sick with guilt every time I caught sight of the door to his tiny room. He had hurt me and I felt his betrayal was unforgivable but I also knew my behaviour was far from ok. What I'd said was unforgivable and I wasn't even sure I meant it. I resolved to keep my features neutral the next time I saw him. Perhaps I would even nod or smile. Not an apology but a step in the right direction. But of course I didn't see him.

One night I was awake again, wandering the hallways, a lantern in my hand. I didn't need the light to lead the way, if I was blind I could have walked the length of the mansion and never lost my way. I hesitated as I walked past his door, light spilling out from beneath the aged wood. Apparently I was not the only one who was sleepless in the dead of night.
I made a restless circuit of my ancestral home, afraid to sleep or even stand still for too long. I found myself in the far wing, outside the suite that was meant for us. I nudged the door and it swung open quietly and easily, releasing the soft smells of fresh linen and cinnamon. It was large and airy with elegant furniture to suit my tastes and I suddenly found my throat choked with emotion as I tried to breathe. The bedroom was beautiful, framed by one large window, a king sized bed dominating the room. I sat down on the bed and carefully placed the lantern upon the side table. I couldn't help but wonder how different things would have been if he had been honest with me. Or if I'd been kinder. Would he be sat there beside me, company in the night? Or would he be lying there fast asleep, unaware of the tormented thoughts of his future bride?
After some time, I slipped back out of the room and closed the door behind me, anxious not to make a sound. Silent as a wraith I made my way back to my chambers, only to find myself once again hesitating beside his door.

(Kyoya's POV)
I had been working away for hours and had long since lost the night when there was a knock at the door. I'd noticed someone flitting past my doorway about an hour ago. Perhaps it was a servant. Not that I had the time. I stood up slowly, easing the kinks from my body and opened the door. My mouth was already open, lips moving, ready to turn away the unwanted guest when I realised who was standing in my doorway.
Seina stood stock still, uncertainty clear in her eyes. Her sleek dark hair hung loose and she wore an old fashioned white nightgown, with puffed long sleeves, which fell past her knees. Perhaps it was the ribbon adorning her wrists and chest but she looked incredibly sweet. Or perhaps I just missed her. The hostility that I had seen from her over the past week was gone. Instead she looked young and vulnerable.
'Can we talk?' Her voice was soft and hushed. Without thinking I reached out to her but thought better of it as she flinched away. Immediately I withdrew my hands with a placating gesture and slowly stepped out of the doorway, offering access to my room. Cautiously she stepped inside, closing the door behind her.
I returned to the small desk and turned the chair around, gesturing for her to sit on the bed.
'Did I wake you up?' She did as I suggested, delicately rearranging herself and her clothes.
'No. I've been working. I don't sleep much these days.' For a moment she simply bobbed her head silently and smoothed out her clothes again. Then she began to speak.
'I'm sorry for how I behaved and the things I said. I was childish and cruel and selfish. I didn't mean it. I can take any blow you might want to throw at me but I don't know what to do with my own emotions. I'm sorry.'
My chest tightened painfully at her words as she hung her proud head and stared at her bare feet. I swallowed the lump building in my throat and knelt down on the floor in front of her. Tentatively I reached for her hands and she allowed me to take them.
'You have nothing to apologise for. I betrayed your trust and I deceived you and I am so sorry for that. I tried to tell you the truth, so many times but something always got in the way and things were going so well...I was terrified of losing you. I am incredibly rich, I have luxuries I've grown up with and ones I've earned. But I have never valued anything as much as I value you. I was a coward and I don't deserve you. But I do love you. I love you.' My words trailed off as I struggled for words, only to find her gazing at me with tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks.
So much pain on her beautiful face and all of it my fault. 'I know it doesn't mean much Seina but nothing would make me happier than you agreeing to be my wife.' She gently pulled her hands from my grasp and stood up, forcing me to move out of her way. My heart sunk in my chest and I was certain I'd said the wrong thing as she opened the door to leave. She stopped in the doorway without looking back at me.
'You may move into my chambers at the end of the week.' Then she was gone.