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"What the hell!" I screamed, scoffing afterwards and raising my eyebrows. "Are you stalking me now?"

"Just like you're stalking Jungkook." Taemin said, between a fake sad smile. Maybe it wasn't fake but it doesn't matter to me. "That's what love does huh."

"Love my ass." I rolled my eyes and started walking away. Anywhere away from him.

"Love it already." He chuckled. I gave him a disgusted look and kept walking, him doing the same behind me.

But I couldn't help it, no matter how hard I tried. That Jungkook's smile is is haunting me. And I hate that, I hate myself because I feel like I'm becoming like Taemin, exactly like I don't wanna be. I don't wanna admit it but I hate that Jungkook is happy without me, as selfish as it sounds, I wanna be the one who makes him happy, regardless of how much I hurt him.

Is that how Taemin feels about me?

I stopped walking, then faced Taemin, who stopped as well and awkwardly smiled to me. It all happened so fast until I found my self in his arms. This time I was the one to hug him, his hesitant arms came to embrace me, and a tear fell to my cheek without me noticing it at first.

"I miss him Tae, I miss him so fucking much." I sobbed, sniffling my nose against his neck and trying to imagine him as Jungkook, even if his smell and body are way too different from him.

"He doesn't minnie. He didn't even come to check up on you anymore. He started a new life without you, probably with someone else." I raised my head, shooking it and trying my best to not let Taemin's soft voice with killing words get throught my mind. "just like you should be with me. I'm here for you in your hard time Minnie."

"You made that hard time, fucker." I pushed him then turned my heels going another time anywhere away from that toxic person I'm slowly starting to become like.

-Jungkook's pov-

I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore.

Since the day Jimin left. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

At least I know he's okay, Taehyung saw for the first week how much of a horrible state I went into, so he came reassuring me that Jimin is fine, but he told me that he doesn't know where he is.

Bullshit.

At least he's here for me now, he'd send me supporting messages that would make me smile or would sit next to me at school.

But please Jimin, for the love of god, where the hell are you?

I'm happy he's not at his house anymore, I myself can't stand his father.

But please Jimin did you really have to do me like that? Do you have any idea how many days I couldn't sleep just thinking of you? How many tears escaped my eyes every day and night? How many bruises are on my wrist now?

I kept at first trying to concentrate at class, treat well my mom, try to feel happy and not hurt myself just like you always told me to. But I fucking can't anymore Jimin, I need you and jut you by my side, where the fuck did you go.

And the fact that I don't have that much informations about you kills me everytime. The fact that you're so complicated and that your life is so hectic that I can't think of a single thing you're doing now, a single place you went to. I loved that at first about you, but now I hate it the most.

Now I'm just falling apart, more like I've been before I met you, you came into my life just like the sun in a rainy cold day. But the sun disappears doesn't it? To let the beautiful moon come.

But my moon hasn't come yet.

I hate you.

But I can't hate you.

Fuck you.

But I wish I can thought.

I still didn't lose hope thought,I'm still always waiting for you.

But I'm scared I'll do.

You were there for me, no it was real. Don't come and tell me that it was all bullshit. Don't tell me it wasn't real because no, I don't believe it and I won't. I know that you sincerely loved me and cared about me, as much as i cared about you. Jimin, I wish you could hear me right now, but whatever keeps you away from me, whatever you hated in me to the point that made you leave me, isn't worst than your leaving. So please just come back, and we'll figure it out together. You can't kill me twice can you?

Just come back, please, you can not talk to me if you don't want to, you can ignore me completely if you need to. I just need to see you fine and happy in front of me, I don't care if I'm not the one making you happy. As selfish as it sounds, I just want to stop worrying about you and feel all guilt everytime I remember that I didn't search enough for you. Then everytime I'd get out to do it again, I'd remember that I searched in every place you've been to before and since I know how crazy you are, only god knows where you've really been to.

My phone buzzed, making me get out of my thoughts then holding it to see whatever notification it is, still lowkey hoping it's Jimin's message.

Taehyung: 16:09
Let's meet at 7. There's this good cafe that just opened and u need to check it out.
I'll wait in front if ur home;)

"What was that wink for?" I chuckled. Taehyung lately had been trying hard to be by my side, and I truly appreciate that. Even if he's not exactly the one I want with me now.

It's crazy how people change, and their feelings as well. I remember just less than a year ago I was hoping Tae would come talk to me, now that he is I don't even care about him and I hope it's someone I didn't even know back then.

Someone who completely changed my life. No matter what they've done they changed it to the best.

I got off my bed then went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. We had sport today at school and obviously I stink.

[...]

"Hey." I whispered, making Taehyung turn around and smile to me, hopefully not noticing the eyebags under my eyes thanks to my mother's concealer.

"Where to, miss?" He asked, approaching me and raising an eyebrow.

"Um to the cafe you told me about." I mumbled, awkwardly pulling the sleeves of my shirt to not let him see the cuts I made not long ago.

"I was trying to quote Titanic, silly." He joked, throwing his arm around my shoulders and starting to walk, pulling me with him. "But yes anyway that's where we're going"

And that's how we continued our way, him telling me about that specific coffee he's so exited to drink there and me having flashbacks about the first day I met Jimin in a cafe. The day that I had no idea would change my life forever.

I keep wondering, what if I didn't go there that day after school, wouldn't I have met Jimin then? Wouldn't have experienced all of these memories and feelings with him? Would I be still in love with Taehyung then?

It's crazy how destiny has bringed us together then. And I believe that just like it had set us together, it will be that way forever.

You will come back Jimin.

🌸

Double update yay!

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