scruffle wuffle but make it better

chapter ten

i sit there impatiently waiting for kevin to say something
a-"i'm sorry i'm sorry that was a lot and i don't mean to put that on you"
k-"hey you don't ever have to be sorry okay?"
i look up and our eyes gaze into each other's
a-"bet you didn't know i had all this baggage" i laugh slightly
k-" that's what i'm here for to help" he smiles at me and pulls me into a hug
***time zorp***
it's later that evening i'm all by myself in my room. i lay down on my bed and immediately start crying again. it's the type of crying where your whole body just feels numb and no matter what happens you can't seem to stop. i see my journal laying on my closet floor. i slowly walk over to it and words just start spilling onto the pages i wrote about everything even things that i was scared to admit. my phone buzzes interrupting me from my thoughts. i look over and see a snapchat from sage i quickly answer and send back a pick of my eye before turning back to my journal. i wrote ten whole pages about my feelings and had managed to stop crying for the most part when my phone buzzes again. another snap from sage when i open i see he said "are you okay ?" tears begin to flow from my eyes again. such a simple question yet it makes me feel so terrible. i didn't even think that sage would be able to i was upset from my eye. i answer him back with a simple "i don't know" i was the truth i didn't know if i was okay or when i would be okay again or how. what does being okay even mean
s-"whats wrong ?"
a-"you really don't have to worry about me it's fine."
s-"that's bullshit i don't have to worry about you? tell me what's wrong"
i stopped to think about what to say what was wrong ?
a-"well i've known this person for my whole life and i'm always there for them no matter what. i would do anything for them to be happy. but it seems like they wouldn't do that for me and idk it's dumb"
s-"that's not dumb i promise. you shouldn't waste your time on people who aren't going to care about you. especially if they have known you for years those people should care the most about you. just don't waste all your time caring about someone who won't do it back it will just hurt"
a-" thank you i hate when people see me cry i didn't mean to drag you into anything"
s-"you didn't drag me into anything. i promise"
a-"thanks for being there"
s-"of course and i mean you have to admit that was some pretty damn good advice i sound super smart"
a-"oh for sure like Einstein"
s-"nah i got way better hair than that guy"
a-"oh of course"
i turn my phone off and think about what sage said. He was totally right Hayden didn't care about me he just believes his girlfriend over anything that i have to say. And after all the times i was there for him. you know who was there for me kevin. Kevin has always been there for me i should focus my time and attention on him.
*time zoop*
i wake up for the school the next morning and my eyes are all puffy from crying last night.
m-"hey amber sweetie time for school"
i put on my best sick voice
a-"i threw up last night can i stay home ?"
m-"your sick?"
i shake my head yes and my mom gives me doubtful look
m-"any tests today, whats due?"
a-"nothing i just really feel sick right now"
m-"fine but just today."
a-"thanks" i give her a weak smile and hop back into my bed, i pull through covers over my eyes and the next thing i know it's 2 pm.
i pick up my phone and see a couple missed text messages
sage 🥶
hey you ok ? didn't see you today

idiot sandwich group chat
WHERE ARE YOU ?
HELLO?????

kevin 🥳
hey you doing ok ?

i quickly text everyone back telling them that i'm sick . what they don't need to know. when taylor answers back

taylor😎-idiot sandwich
boooo feel worse u whoreeee

i laugh at my phone for a little bit when i hear a soft knock at the door.
m-"hey someone's here to see you down stairs"
a-"who?"
m-"why don't you just come and see."