The Wolf

In My Head

That night I heard a scream & shot up! I ran to Jacob's room but he was in his bed. He was shaking & covered in sweat. I sat on the edge of the bed next to him & put my hand on his shoulder as he jumped up & looked around trying to catch his breath.
"It's ok I'm here...you're fine." I whispered trying to calm him down. He looked at me curious to why I was here.
"I'll go get you some water." I said standing as I felt him grab my wrist. "Stay." He ordered in a soft but fearful voice. I turned back & sat down in the bed pulling the sheets over me.

Me: do you wanna talk about it?

Jacob: just war memories.

Me: war?

Jacob: I served in the army. 82nd Airborne Division.

Me: wait...wasn't that for the first Gulf War...

Jacob: yeah...how did you know?

Me: I read a lot of war books. Can you tell me the story?

Jacob: I was on a deployment to Iraq...me & my best friend Miller were shot down & separated from the group. Nearest base 200 clicks to the south so we just started walking. The next day we knew we were lost. The 4th day we ran out of water. The 6th day we ran out of food. Miller's legs got all messed up... the 8th day the wolves were closing in...so I looked at Miller...& that moment came clarity.

Me: what did you do to him?

Jacob: I sacrificed him. To survive.

Jacob looked at me thinking I'd be disgusted by it.

Me: if you think I'm going to be disgusted by that I'm not. We do what we must to survive.

Jacob: is that so?

Me: yes. Now get some sleep.

Jacob laid his head back down on his pillow & fell asleep as I did the same.

The next morning, Jacob didn't acknowledge anything that happened last night. I went outside after breakfast to care for the Judges when I noticed the lady who shot Alex was chained to a wooden post.
I walked up to her & kneeled down beside her.

Prisoner: I was scared...I wanted to see my children. My husband. You understand don't you?

Me: no...I don't understand why you had a gun with you & out of all times you decided to shoot them? I understand why you did it...but why now?

Prisoner: I don't want to die. Jacob is putting me in the trials today...please...you have got to try & talk him out of it.

Me: I can't...what's done is done. You killed my friend. Now you'll pay for him.

I got up & walked away as the prisoner called out to me from behind. I went back inside the Veterans Center where Jacob was in his office & I walked past the wide open door to my room as I could feel him looking at me. I went inside my room & shut the door sitting on the bed thinking about Alex. His last words. "Jacob will protect me."