Found Along The Way

Chapter thirty-eight

Is anyone ever truly sure of what they want? We grow up wanting to be astronauts and fairies, but change our minds every other week, and are completely different people by the time we're told to decide. You can be so sure of something at one point and lose all stability at another. Sixteen-year-olds with no clue where they want to live or work, artists with no idea what to paint, couples without a hint towards where their future should go... and brides at a crossroad, the second before they're signed away to a new life.

Yes, or no?

But Anya opened her eyes to see him stood at the end of the aisle, his smile as bright as ever, the face she missed and loved beyond words looking at hers, and the question appeared on the ground in front of her. Its' letters stretching their way along the aisle, long and intimidating, unstable and quaking,

Yes, or no?

And she knew the answer, she wasn't scared of it, the uncertainty painted thick on the ground was brushed away as her dress trailed along the floor and she walked towards the love of her life, keeping his eye contact strong and tucking it away into her head for safekeeping as a forever memory. She reached him, kissing her father on the cheek and being handed over to Lucas, where they both sighed and began to feel choked up with emotions. He took her shaking hands and mouthed to her,

"You look beautiful..." and she smiled, tears spilling over and down her face, Taya keeping a tissue at hand next to her.

"That foundation better hold up." She whispered to Lina.

The music lowered in volume, the guests seated, and the minister began his words,

"Dearly beloved..."

And it was as if every one of his words, ones similar to the ones she'd heard so many times at other weddings and on TV, were now only meant for Anya and Lucas. She wasn't religious, but felt joy at the things that meant the world to Lucas. That God had brought this day just for them, that their life together would be watched over and cherished by love and power they couldn't even imagine. It felt right, and comforting to hear.

And the way the minister spoke about love seemed a poem just for them, words to hold and keep them for their rest of their days, not selfish or angry, not sad or dismissing. Equal and fair, kind and soft, the kind of love that reminds you of the storybooks you were read to sleep with as a child, comfortable and safe.

"Things may change, feelings change, and your circumstances were always meant to change, but love by its' definition stays the same. And like its' definition, we pray that your love will remain unchanged. We pray that you will be the ones who embrace the change time brings, and let your love seep into those new cracks, without a second of doubt." These words were a friend to them, reassuring and hopeful.

He lead his way towards the vows, giving Lucas and Anya the moment they were waiting for, the time where they could promise that their love wouldn't change.

"Do you take Anya to be your lawfully wedded wife, to be joined at the heart not only in the presence of friends and family, but in the presence of God, to live in the holy state of matrimony. Promising to honour, love and keep her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." He responded, more sure of that now than he'd ever been.

"And do you take Lucas to be your lawfully wedded husband, to be joined at the heart not only in the presence of friends and family, but in the presence of God, to live in the holy state of matrimony. Promising to honour, love and keep him for as long as you both shall live?"

Yes, or no?

"Yes. I do." She promised, tears streaming down her face as she said the words she'd waited so long to say.

"Please join hands and prepare to say the vows that you have written."

Anya was first, her hands shaking as she held the paper. He knew what was on here, but saying it out loud so officially was terrifying for her. But his gaze, his eyes on her, and his smile were enough to give her what she needed to get through them.

"It seems that everywhere I go, I manage to find you. Ever since you walked into my life, that day Lina dragged me to writer's group, I knew you were special. My life used to be simple. Lina, sleep, art, and the thoughts about past mistakes that haunted me so often. But I'm no longer subconsciously waiting for some miracle to turn up at the door, because you were my miracle, the only man that deserves to know my heart. My quiet days have become filled with conversations and laughter, and all the bad I knew is finally fading. Because I know you're perfect for me. I've moved into a new stage of feeling loved and respected, for reasons I will never forget the significance of. Not a day goes by where I regret that awkward first date with you, or moving in with you. I can't help but love you more and more with each day, and I know this will continue to grow. We as people will grow and our love will come with it. So I vow to never to stop laughing at your little jokes, to always listen to your stories because I know they will never grow old, and most importantly I vow to know you forever. I promise to listen to your thoughts, and learn every single fear and pain you have so they I can have it too, as your second half." She cried, and chuckled her way through these words, meaning every single one with her whole heart and knowing that they meant everything to them both.

"Anya, when we first met I felt like I was fifteen years old and didn't know how to speak to girls. I was known as a charmer but you knocked that out of me, and I was more nervous than I could say. Our first date was beyond awkward, and I have no idea why you came back to see me again, and why you chose me as the person to know you and your every quirk, but I am forever grateful that you did. I've seen you cry, laugh, I've seen the good and the bad, and I've watched you fade away and hold onto life by a string. I knew that day when you were so close to never letting me hear your voice again that I needed to hold onto you tighter than ever. I promise to hold your hand through every single fall, then sit with you when you're not strong enough to stand, and to always try and make you laugh because I know you always look for a smile in everything you see. I vow to be that smile Anya, and to give you a million reasons to smile back."

"It is with these vows in mind that I pronounce you man, and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Their lips touched for what could have been the billionth time, taking them back to times they would never let themselves forget. The end of a long exciting day, in a hospital corridor. Under the trees, full of fairy lights and surrounded by beloved sketches. In the kitchen, excited and young, the words 'I love you' so recently on their tongues.

The room erupted with cheer, tears on the faces of everyone Anya loved, happiness bursting at the seams of each wall. Lucas held Anya's hand up high in the air, doing an air punch and laughing ecstatically. Confetti flew over their heads and glittered her dress as they walked back up the aisle, hand in hand and heart in heart.

Mr. and Mrs. Rivera.

A pair of eyes watched from the back of the room, hidden by the crowd of overjoyed souls, cheering for love. He watched Anya leave the room, staying seated, a face of stone, a heart of ice. A bad decision bubbling under his skin, a very, very bad decision.