Found Along The Way

Chapter fourteen

On the way there Anya's stomach was twisting in every direction. She was used to getting carsick but the nerves made it unbearable.

"Lucas I'm gonna puke."

"You want me to pull over?"

She nodded in agreement, pale-faced and sweating. The car stopped at the edge of the road, she opened the door and leaned out, staring into a puddle of rain on the ground from earlier in the day. She could see her reflection staring back at her, and she could feel the wind on her neck. She sighed, managed to pull herself together, and closed her eyes for a second.

This momentary peace was enough to remind her that she was going to be okay.

She sat back up, fixing her hair and announcing "I didn't puke!" which received a joking round of applause from Lucas.

Beginning to watch the world zip by outside the window once again, Anya decided that this time making her big ceremony speech, she didn't need Daniel and his false hope. He proved through his actions that there was no hope for a future with him. It didn't matter how much support he gave her, or how sweet he could be, there was a dark side that Anya was forgetting.

"Daniel will you please just speak to me."

He wouldn't.

"Daniel please, you can't just ignore me forever, I can't take it."

He would just sit there, typing on his phone while Anya cried on the bed.

"I'm sorry Dan, I'm just not comfortable with how much you've been speaking to some of the girls in the band. But every time I've brought it up you just drop silent and ignore me."

"Shut up Anya."

"Danny, please, I just-"

"I said, SHUT UP." He'd shout.

He never hit her, it's almost as if he prided himself on his lack of physical violence. But he would still shout. Get aggressive, or emotionally torture her by saying nothing.

But Anya would forget all this after leaving him, and beg forgiveness for betraying his trust when she left. All she'd remember were the smiles he'd give watching her work, his undying support during her success, and the kindness she saw so often. With all that love, she forgot the unbearable hurt he'd cause her... Until enough time had passed to see through the pretty façade he left behind.

'Fuck him' She'd come to think now. She announced it proudly to Lina over the phone, who had taken another car with Joey,

"Fuck Daniel. I deserve so much better than him."

"Amen girl, and you're going to show him that today." Lina responded, set on empowering her best friend. And it worked, Anya felt empowered. She had a spark of confidence that rushed adrenaline through her whole body as they pulled up to the museum.

It was the exact same sight as 2 years ago. Tall, elegant pillars surrounded the steps up to the entrance, and a man in a beautifully fitted dark-purple suit stood right there, shaking hands, welcoming guests, and pointing them in the direction of the auditorium. Anya began to shake, almost tearing up with excitement, when Lina came over across the parking lot and took her hand as they walked towards the grand building.

Once inside, Anya was led backstage and waved goodbye to her friends as they blew kisses, gave thumbs up, and smiled to assure her. The excitement bubbled inside of her, she was filled with so much passion, remembering who she was and why she was here, but her breath caught in her throat as she saw her. Standing there in the wings of the stage, it was Tricia.

She didn't want to believe she was truly there, her hands gripped tightly into fists and she held her shuddering breath, begging in her mind for Tricia to not turn around and see her standing there, frozen in time, remembering everything that had happened.

Her memory couldn't have come rushing back any quicker, to stop her in her tracks and ruin something amazing. This tall, blonde, bitch in a tight dress. It was pink, but not pretty like Anya's, it was a slutty pink that exaggerated her awful tan.

Anya wanted to run, to hide, to find Lina and go, but the lights dimmed and the hum of the crowd silenced. And the presenter began speaking.

There was nothing she could do now, aside from watch the ceremony from the wings. Awards passing by her, pictures and paintings being shifted around the stage, heart-warming speeches, and then Tricia. You would've assumed it would be something surface level from a girl like Tricia. A girl who buys her way into the business. A superficial, insincere, non-meaningful essay. But no, she decided to speak about love.

About how important it is to remember that through every success, every win and pay check earned, your love comes first. That she'd never be where she is today without it, and it had driven her to pursue art.

Bullshit.

But the people watching her, absorbing her every word like sponges, wouldn't know that everything she uttered was complete crap. Crap that made Anya furious knowing Tricia was talking about him, Daniel. A tear rolled down her cheek, as she choked on her breaths, trying not to sob.

It was as if she blanked out the rest of the speech because the next thing she knew, the audience was roaring and Tricia's blonde silhouette approached her.

"Aww are you crying honey?" She whispered condescendingly into Anya's ear. "I'm glad my speech moved you so much."

It stung. It hurt more than she could've imagined being spoken to by her would. But she couldn't let them ruin today for her, she could never forgive herself if she did, so she took that anger and turned it into drive. She ran to the mirror behind her, wiping her face and taking deep breaths when she heard the presenter. "Ladies and gentlemen, Anya Whelan."

She took a deep breath, stepped onto the bright stage and under the harsh warm light that highlighted her every expression. She found Lucas in the audience, and decided to focus every word onto him.

This was it. Breathe in, breathe out.

"I'd like to begin by firstly expressing just how grateful I am to be here for the second time in my life. It's a brilliant opportunity and I couldn't imagine a better place to have my work be seen by some incredible people so truly, thank you." She took another breath, calmer than the last, keeping her gaze on Lucas.

"Every year since I joined my art group, led by the wonderful Amanda, she begins by asking everyone in the room what art means to them. I've always said 'So much, it's all I want to do, I live and breathe it' but never truly thought to consider what it means to the world beyond that small room of artists.

Well, art is in everything we do. Everything we see around us is made up of colours, shapes, lights, but it goes deeper than that. Our emotions and actions are influenced by what we see around us, we feel relaxed by a sunset, we feel happy seeing blue skies, we feel sad when there are storm clouds or when it gets dark earlier in the day. Visiting a picturesque place satisfies us in a way we can't explain. We decorate the spaces we live in to feel more at home, and paint our walls to match who we are on the inside. On special occasions we write in cards that have been designed to meet the aesthetic of the situation. Being able to appreciate the world and it's beauty is one of the best things about being alive, and most people can tell you that, artist or not. But most importantly art can express every single thing we feel in our lives. With every emotion, doubt, realisation, there is something you can see somewhere that will come together to represent it. Something that can go beyond words and reach into the back of your mind to show what's really there. When I don't have the words, I know that I can go to my canvas and create what I can't say. When you truly come to realize how important art is in our everyday lives, you can finally answer the question 'What does art mean to you?'

It means Everything."