Brandons book of rants

Trust

Trust is definitely something I dont give out easily, I hate trusting people and honestly it usually ends bad anyways. Now recently I have this amazing girlfriend named Ashley and I feel like I can trust her with anything and everything, whichb I do but what I hate even more than not feeling like you can trust someone is when someone you trust and that they say they trust you... Well I hate it when they do something that indicates that they don't trust you. I feel like my girlfriend doesn't trust me enough because she won't let me help with some things. I hate that. If you trust someone then you should be willing to trust them with everything not just the good stuff and I just wish that for once I could feel like I'm good enough and I could feel worthy of someones trust instead of feeling like I am just someone to be left in the background. I'm sure that everybody reading this has felt this way at some point before but I've felt this way for years because sometimes it seems like I'm always the last to know. Like when people say I'll be the first to know about something then they turn around and never tell me but I hear it from someone else? Or when they plan to tell someone else but tell me to go away so that I won't know..? That just it makes me feel like total shit and I can't do it. I can't keep going like this for much longer because I'm gonna go back to not caring about anyone or anything since at least when I was like that I didn't feel so much emotional pain because I knew the people I was hanging out with didn't trust me and would stab me in the back if I gave them the oppurtunity. Sorry if this makes you feel bad but I just needed to get this off my chest.. Thank you to anyone who cares enough to read this. Goodbye...