You stormed out of your house, walking to your car. Your brother had been particularly annoying since you two were home alone with your parents out helping your grandparents. He's only 3 years older, but acts like he's your dad! And he's the disobedient child anyways! You had finally had enough, and decided to leave before you strangled him.
You drove on the road that would take you to John B's. You figured, since he's alone all the time it would be best to crash at his place for a little bit. You felt bad for the poor kid, losing so much in such a short amount of time. You always tried to convince him to come over and spend the night at your house so he could sleep in a clean house and take a shower (because most of the time he REALLY needed a shower, let's be honest.) He never wanted to, but you would practically force him to come with you. Your parents loved him, and tried their best to help him out, seeing as he was in an unideal situation.
The tires of your car slowed to a stop as you pulled into the grass next to the château. You hopped out of your car and walked in. You were greeted by JJ instead of John B, which wasn't super surprising, but it still startled you.
"Oh um hi JJ, where's John B?" You asked innocently.
"He's out. He's helping Pope with deliveries. You okay?" JJ could almost always tell when something was off with you, as you could do the same with him. Most of the time when John B was over, JJ was too.
"Yeah yeah, just want to have some fun today. It's been pretty boring."
"Well, you came to the right place. John B said tonight might be a party night. You in?"
You bit the inside of your lip. You might enjoy hanging out with the pogues, but parties had never really been your thing. Most of the time that they were partying you spent combing the shore for washed up jellyfish and shells. You didn't want the pogues to know you didn't like to party like them, so you always caved in and pretended to like partying at least until they were all hammered and you could sneak back to John B's or go home.
It wasn't that you didn't enjoy having fun, it was that your brother was friends with the kooks and would always have parties with them, and you had not so great memories from those parties.
You stood up and grabbed your blue water bottle, filling it with lemonade that was in the fridge. You took a sip and immediately spit it out all over the floor.
"Woah what's wrong?" JJ said as he heard you spit out the lemonade.
"Nothing, um," you tried to think of a lie.
"What, you didn't know there was alcohol in it?" He said, raising a brow.
"Yeah, just surprised, that's all," you said, eyeing the liquid that filled your bottle. You closed the cap, holding it in your hand.
"Well, you gonna finish it? Can't let that go to waste."
You didn't tell the rest of the group about how you didn't like to drink. Another one of those things that was ruined for you by your brother and his kook friends.
You suddenly felt anger overtake you. You threw the bottle on the ground, while JJ watched the scene unfold. You usually didn't get emotional. You didn't get upset. But today was not your day. You picked up your keys and started walking to your car.
"Woah woah hey, what-what was that?" JJ managed to get out his mouth. "I thought you liked that kind of lemonade?"
You turned around, feeling angry and upset, tears in your eyes.
"I don't! I hate it! I hate parties! I hate when you get hammered! I hate it when I have to lie to go home and have my brother make fun of me for being a lightweight! I hate it and I can't keep doing this!"
You saw the hurt in JJ's eyes and you couldn't keep yourself from breaking down. You stood there and cried. You couldn't hold it in any longer. This was bound to happen, you had been pretending everything was fine for a long time, and had finally snapped. You just wished it hadn't been in front of JJ.
Most of the pretending was for him. He wouldn't go for a girl who wasn't as wild as him, right? You had to pretend to be a party girl to get his attention. You'd liked JJ for over a year now, but since the rule still stood, you couldn't tell him how you felt. You figured it was for the best, since for starters, it would be weird between the rest of the group, and also because you knew JJ didn't see you that way. Why would he? With every blonde bimbo simping over him, he had plenty of choices, and you knew you'd never be his first choice.
"(Y/N)..."
"Don't, just—" your voice cracked. "Don't," you said quietly.
You put your head in your hands and tried to stop yourself from crying. The anger was already enough, but the embarrassment made it ten times worse.
You felt JJ put his arms around you. You sobbed silently as he held you.
"Let's go inside. We can talk. Okay?"
You nodded, and took a shaky step forward. JJ noticed how you were shaking like a leaf, so he put his arm under your legs and lifted you up bridal style.
Once you got inside, he set you down gently on the pullout and sat on the floor in front of you. He looked up at you, and even though your eyes were red and puffy from crying, he still thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.
"Tell me everything," he said, grabbing ahold of your hand while you cried. And you did. You told him about your brother and his idiotic friends, how they would get hammered and make you uncomfortable, how that made you realize you would never be like them so you didn't drink or party like the kooks, or the pogues for that matter. How you were worried that a drunk you would make a decision you'd regret sober. How being out of control terrified you.
You felt silly, but he listened. He listened to every word you said, feeling horrible for making you feel so uncomfortable and unsafe. As soon as you were done talking, he breathed out a long breath of air.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want you to think I was lame."
JJ sighed. "Look, John B, Kie and I would never make fun of you for that."
"It's not just the teasing I'm worried about." Your lower lip trembled and you couldn't believe how you were going to expose yourself to the boy you loved.
"Then what's it about?" He asked, blue eyes looking in yours.
"It's you. I'm worried you'd never go for a girl like me because I'm no fun."
JJ realized what you were saying almost immediately. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And that's coming from ME! The king of dumb things!"
"You really think so?"
"I know so. Besides, not drinking isn't unattractive, I think it's pretty hot when you carry me back here drunk."
You were taken aback. "You-you remember when I'd take care of you?"
"How could I not?" He smirked.
"So all those times you asked me to stay..."
"Lets just say I knew what I was doing," he laughed.
"You idiot! I always stayed and it was torture when you would cuddle up to me because I thought you were slammed!"
"That's the beauty of not being a lightweight, I was able to pretend to be wasted and cuddle with you as I 'slept off my hangover.' Pretty genius if you ask me."
"Okay, well since YOU knew that those times were real and I didn't, you kinda owe me."
JJ smiled and pulled himself onto the pullout. He leaned in close and whispered in your ear, "do I now? How can I make it up to you?"
It was your turn to smirk, leaning into his ear to whisper. "I think I can name a few ways."
