Lost in the dark of heart 🖤

Chapter 8: Figuring Out

Cheryl's POV
Today I am going back to school, after a week of being forced to stay at home, because finally, I successfully convinced my mom that I'm going to be fine going back.

That I'm going to be fine around people, when the truth is that I don't know if I will..

So right now, I'm sitting outside of school, in my car, thinking about everything that have happened the latest week.. Just smoking a cigarette to take the edge off.

All from my mom finding out about my father's abuse towards me, to me and Toni kissing each other after that she found out as well.. To spending time with Toni daily all week, because she came over every day after school to keep me company.. But somehow, the topic of our kiss never came up, which kind of make me believe she regretted it after all..

And that's why I'm now considering if I should just drive back home, afraid of coming face to face with Toni in a crowd..

"Hey." I flinch because of the sudden voice from outside of my car, and the knock against my window pane, causing me to almost burn myself with my cigarette.

"Oh, hey.. Toni.." I say, not meeting her gaze once, and I could just tell that she was getting concerned, or maybe confused if anything.

"Is everything okay Cher?" she asks, and I immediately curse her for being so thoughtful and kind, silently of course, because obviously I didn't want her to hear it.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine." I say, but even I knew that it was no freaking chance that she would believe me.

"Cher, you don't have to lie to me." she politely reassures me, and I know that I can talk to her.. But the problem is, I don't know how..

Because I obviously can't just ask her "Did our kiss mean something to you? Because it meant the world to me.." that would be extremely weird, and I would most likely embarrass myself completely. Because why would anyone ever like me? Why would the girl of my dreams EVER like me back, even less the way I like her..

"Cher?"

"Hmm?" I snapped out of it, really confused.

"What's wrong? You keep spacing out."

"I'm sorry, I'm just.. I'm really trying to process everything that happened last week, and I'm kind of nervous to come back to school.." I admit, which isn't a lie, I'm just hoping that she doesn't catch onto what I'm actually hinting at..

Our kiss..

"You're going to be okay Cher, and if you're not, just know I'm here for you, and during classes we don't share, I'm only a call or a text away."

Damn you Antoinette Topaz..

---
Home room was over faster than I thought, and first period was scheduled to start in 10 minutes, which means that I don't have time to smoke beforehand.

So I begrudgingly go get my stuff out of my locker, almost shitting myself when I closed it just to find Toni standing there, waiting for me with an adorable smile on her face.

"Hey cutie. Ready for class?" she ask, causing me to blush bright red, and I didn't even have to see myself to know that I was.

"Hi T.. And, yeah, I suppose so." I say, smiling as genuinely as possible back at her, still trying to hide the fact that I'm dying for her to kiss me again..

"Good, let's go." she replies cheerily, grabbing my hand in her own with one smooth movement, causing my heart to skip multiple beats. But to her, it didn't seem like she was over the moon excited, which caused tears to pool in my eyes..