London is For Lovers

12.

I can feel him smile during the kiss. My stomach is filled with butterflies, and I feel sohappy. Josh pulls away and we're both smiling like idiots. "Don't you want to stay a little longer?", I ask hopeful. "I can't. I told them I'd berightback", he laughs. "Also, I feel like Dan and Phil kind of miss you". "Yeah. Good night then". I let go of his hand and hug him one last time. "Good night beautiful. I'll text you". And with that he drives off.

I knock on Dan and Phil's door and Phil opens it, jumping into my arms immediately. "I missed you!!", he screams. "Aww I missed you too!". "Did you have fun today?". "Yes, loads!". "You kind of like Josh don't you", Phil asks smirking. "Maybe". "Maybe?". "Yes I like him now let me in!", I laugh and look for Dan. "Dan?", I shout. "Maddy!", I hear Dan screaming from their Nerdroom and I soon find myself in Dan's arms. "Tell me everything. Detail", he whispers into my ear making me shiver. "What the fuck don't you think that came out a bit wrong". We burst out into laughter and sit down on the couch. "No but still, did you have fun?". I nod happily. I decide its best that I don't tell him about the kiss. Instead, I tell him about Josh's friends and how nice they are to me. "Ahw, see everyone loves you here!". "I wish it would have been the same in Germany. But then I would have never met you", I say kind of sad. I feel bad for leaving my mom and Laura, but it turned out to be the best decision I think. "And I would have never known you. I really don't regret helping you with your groceries a week ago", he smiles. "I don't regret asking you either". Dan continues smiling like an idiot. "Why are you smiling like that?", I ask giggling. "I don't know man you're just too amazing, Madison. I'm so happy that I've found you. I'm so happy that I lost my money that day". "What? You were looking for your money?". "Yeah! I recognized that I lost 5£ somehow and I was trying to find them. Maybe it was destiny". "It sure was. Thank god", I laugh.

I suddenly feel a wave of happiness come over me and that makes me want to hug Dan to death. I wrap my arms around him tightly and whispers into his ear: "Thanks for everything, Daniel". "No problem". The moment gets ruined by someone calling me. I sigh and answer the call. "Maddy!", Josh screams into the phone. He sounds slightly drunk. And they are being so noisey, what the fuck. "Hi!", I laugh. "Josh has been missing you so bad!", I hear Dan saying. "Oh shut up, Flint. But its true I did". "We've seen each other not even 30 minutes ago". "And I miss you! Come back!". I laugh and then sigh. "I wish I could. Sadly I don't have a car". "Imma pick you up". "No you're not! You're drunk for Christ's sake". "Nah. I can drive". "I'll stay at yours tomorrow night okay?". "Yey!", he screams and I laugh. "I'll be there at 2. Bye Joshy!". "Bye beautiful!".

I end the call and look at Dan. "You've heard that right? Won't be here tomorrow". He pouts. "You're leaving everyday since you've met him! Spend some time with me and Phil!". "Aw, we will do something for fun on Wednesday okay?". Dan nods happily.

After talking for another hour I head to my apartment and go to bed.
I hear fists hammering against my apartment door. "Madison I know you're hiding in there! You can't stay here forever! I'm waiting until you get out!". I lock my door from inside and cry. Its just like back in Germany. My dad finds me. I lock myself up. I cry. I take a blade to my wrist. The horror is back. Suddenly I hear Dan shouting at my dad and I open the door and rush towards him. "Let him go!", I scream under tears. He let's go of him and pulls on me instead. "You are coming back home!". "No! This is my home!". "Its not! They all just act as if they accept you and you know that! No one wants you anywhere! I told you that you should always remember that!".

I throw my covers through the room and scream. Its so hot in here. I'm shaking. Every bone in my body hurts.

Then someone storms into my room.

A/N: Hey! Sorry for not updating frequently. :( 

I hope you forgive me. 

Thanks for reading this. :)