How to Steal a Heart

~ Chapter 39 ~

I quickly wiped at the single tear running down my cheek, refusing to look at the voice that called my name. That was the only outward sign of emotion I'd let out since my arrival at the park. However, on the inside, I'm angry: I'm angry at the world, I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at Axel Stone. I'm angry.

I hadn't expected the media to pick up on the pictures so fast. I guess I underestimated how much my father's people actually stalk me. It was a simple post - just my face. I didn't even post the growing bruise on my side.

I told him to never hit me again. I told him what I'd do.

"What did I say?" Axel's voice was a little too harsh for my liking, "I told you to call me!"

"Call you for what?" My words were sharp.

"He hit you,"

"No shit,"

"Victoria-"

"Axel," I finally turned to meet him, "Leave."

He paused. His eyes looking around my body, searching for any other bruises. He took a step towards me, arms open, for what I presume to give me a hug.

"Don't."

His jaw set, "Don't do this, not right now,"

"I mean it, Axel," I was no longer sharp with him. I took on a pleading tone.

I wanted to be rid of Axel Stone. I was drained from caring about someone. I don't feel like fighting for someone's affection, not anymore. He was starting to make me feel like it's not worth it. I'm so tired I feel insane. I just want to be left alone. I don't want to see anyone. I don't even want the sun to rise. I wish to pause time for all eternity and just rest, here, by myself. 

It was moments like the previous that reminded that I have no one.

"Leave. Please. Make it easy,"

"No,"

"Axel-"

"No, Victoria, I won't," I look at him.

"It's been weeks," I scowl at him, "I tell you that I appreciate you, then you start to act funny. That's fine, Axel. I don't need you,"

"We can talk about it later, but can I at least get you out of this park,"

"No," I pout petulantly, "I like this park."

He moves to speak, but I interrupt him again.

"I thought you saw me?" I tried everything in my power to push the heat from my eyes, "You said seeing me was a good thing,"

His eyes softened, "It is-"

"Then why'd you leave?"

"I didn't leave, I'm right here."

I shook my head.

"Mentally, Axel, you left me mentally," I gulped, "And that- was the last thing I needed."

He took in a deep breath but had no response. I tried to suppress the way my lip quivered in disappointment. I knew I felt some type of way towards Axel. I guess you only understand the extent of your feelings towards someone when they hurt you.

Why can't I have one thing? Just one good thing.

"I hate you,"

He blinked, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that,"

The anger I was having gave me heat. Now that I was no longer angry, I started to shiver. Damn, has it always been this cold in the park? Axel started to take steps toward me, I hold out my hand.

"Leave me alone, Axel," I cry, "Go home."

"You can't pretend you don't care, not with me,"

"I'm not pretending I don't care. I care Axel. That's the fucking problem,"

"We just need to take a breath-"

"No!" I hissed, "I don't need to breathe. You don't understand what I'm telling you,"

I could only imagine how wild I looked. Most of the aggression I was showing wasn't even towards him. Yes, it's true that Axel had upset me a great deal. However, my overall feeling was that I'd been done wrong. He only helped with a fraction of that.

I hated to be yelling at him. Every time I see his steely grey eyes it reminds me just how infatuated I am with him. He was cold towards me. I could never forget that. He's the only person to truly know who I am and even he shunned me away. My entire body ached with regret dejection.

"You don't get to come and go as you please. I won't allow it, not this time. I gave you full reign of me. You may have not known, but I did. I gave you me,"

I looked away, "Then it was like a switch went off and I was some random bitch,"

"How am I supposed to know all of that, Victoria? You don't even express how you feel. You get caught up in your mind,"

"Like you're any better, Axel. I know nothing about you. I should've paid attention to the red flags. When you first brought me to the track, I should've taken that as a hint,"

"You better stop saying things you don't mean, Victoria,"

"You're bossing me around now?" I lift a brow. "What's next? Are you gonna hit me too?"

I let myself drop back to the ground. My back against some old, dirty trash can. I couldn't even cry anymore. The heaving of my chest started to get painful.

I was so close to being okay. I had a cute boy that I liked to talk to. I had good friends. I had a little bit of freedom. Now I don't even know where I'm going to sleep. It won't be at my house, I know that for sure.

Axel was quiet for a moment, looking at me. I don't blame him. He's just trying to figure out if I'm going to blow up on him again. After a moment of silence, he slowly walks towards me. He sits on the ground next to me keeping his distance.

"I'm sorry," He gazes at the sky. "I know I can't be the guy that you want or need. I should talk to you more, I know. It's not like I'm keeping my past from you. I just like learning about you. I ask me something, I'll answer it,"

I shake my head tiredly. "I don't want to know anything, Axel,"

"I was scared to talk to you. I don't say that very often and I won't ever say that again. I knew if I talked to you how we used to you would see something was wrong,"

"Because I told you I appreciated you?"

"No, because of a fight coming up,"

I move my tired gaze to him. "I don't understand. You fight all the time,"

"This one goes for a bit more money,"

The memories of Athena asking me to go to the gym snaps back into my mind. She asked me to talk to him. It was important. I knew that, but a lot of things happened in that small amount of time I put it on the back burner. I shouldn't have, but I did.

"Bullshit, it's bigger than that,"

"That's what I mean,"

"What are you hiding? I don't understand why you're lying. What's different about this fight?"

"Don't worry about it, Victoria, it's not anytime soon,"

I dropped my head back to the trash can. I really don't feel like arguing with him. I will in the morning, but right now I can hardly breathe.

"I'm just tired, Axel, I don't want to do this anymore,"

Arms wrap around my frame, pulling me into a chest. I let them. No matter how tough I claim to be - I just want to be held. I want to be cared for, loved. I want to be free. Free to choose, free to think, free to live my life for me.

"I know, baby, I know."