Words (Lams Soulmate AU)

About Damn Time

A/N - *screams*

Alexander's POV

   "I want you to be mine. I wanna get in fights for you. I wanna be able to point at you and say 'that's my boyfriend'. I wanna see you every day. I wanna hug you and kiss you and love you with all my heart. I don't care about the missing limb. It makes you unique. I love you. You're the only thing that matters to me. Forever and always." John hummed, my lip quivered and I huffed.
   "I gotta go." It was just...way too much for me to handle.
   "Alex, wait-" I grabbed my things and crutches and got up, rushing past Laf. I rushed into the bathroom and let everything fall to the floor. I let myself slip down the wall and sobbed into my knee. I heard the door open and wiped my eyes. 
   "Go away, John!" I sobbed.
   "It's Laf." 
   "What?" I sniffled.
   "What's wrong, mon cheri?" He asked gently, sitting next to me. 
   "I don't know!" 
   "Is it John?"
   "I don't know...yes? It's not fair to him. I know that but-...I just-" 
   "Spill it." When I was in the hospital Laf and I used to spill tea after school. 
   "I just...I like him. I do but...if it's real-"
   "Then you can get hurt." Laf finished, I nodded and huffed. "He's your soulmate, Alex."
   "Mom and dad were soulmates." I defended, Laf rolled his eyes and put my leg down. 
   "I've known John since freshman year, Alex. Sure, he has a little bit of a temper but he's not a dick. He wouldn't do that to you." 
   "How would you know?" I grumbled.
   "Because he's loyal. He's not a dick." I huffed and shifted. 
   "I just-...I can't. I can't!" Laf sighed and buried my face in my hands. "I'm terrified." I sobbed, Laf hugged me and I pulled myself together. We headed back to the table and I sat next to Laf. John didn't look up. I didn't blame him. I hurt him. 

   When the bell rang I got my things and John picked up my backpack. I frowned at him and he sighed. "I still love you, Alex." He mumbled, I hung my head in guilt and followed him to class. We sat down and John hesitated before turning to me. "Hey, I know you probably don't want anything to do with me but-"
   "That's not true, John." I mumbled, I sighed and shifted. 
   "I just want to know if you can babysit tonight..." He mumbled, I sighed and smiled. 
   "Of course."
   "Martha will be home so if you need a break just tell her." I nodded and John smiled a bit. "Thanks, Lex."
   "No problem." 

   "Martha, can you-" 
   "Yeah, go sit down, Alex." I sat on the couch and huffed. Martha sent Henry and James off to bed and sat on a chair adjacent to the couch. "John told me what happened at lunch." She started, I sighed and leaned back. "He thinks he royally fucked up." I scoffed a bit and sighed. "Did he?"
   "No..." I sighed. 
   "If it's any consolation he is definitely in love with you." I blushed and looked over at her. 
   "What do you mean?" 
   "I think it's best if I show you." I frowned and grabbed my crutches. I followed her upstairs and she went straight into John's room. I blushed and watched her rummage through her stuff.
   "Should you be going through his things?" I frowned, she shrugged and pulled his sketchbook out of a draw. She opened it and handed it to me. I frowned and sat on his bed, flipping through. Between sketches of birds and sunsets were images of me. Some sketches, some colored with markers or colored pencils. Some were even water colored. I blushed and looked over at Martha. 
   "They're all from memory." 
   "They're amazing." She leaned over and flipped a couple pages. It was a water color of me crying and I bit my lip. There was a small note on the button and I glanced at Martha before reading it. 

I wanna worship the ground you walk on. I wanna catch you when you fall. I wanna kiss you and hug you. I wanna protect you, my love. If only you loved me as well.

   Tears welled in my eyes and I huffed. I closed the sketchbook and wiped my eyes. I handed it back to Martha and she set the sketchbook on his desk. "Alex?" I huffed and got up. 
   "It's complicated, Martha." I sighed, I made my way downstairs and collapsed on the couch. Martha sighed and sat in her chair. We watched tv until John got home and I bit my lip. "John? Can I talk to you?...Alone?" John bit his lip and nodded. 
   "Yeah...We can talk in my room." We went up to John's room and I sat on the edge of his bed. "So...What'd you wanna talk about?" 
   "John...Do you love me?" John frowned and opened his mouth but I cut him off. "I know you say it but do yo actually, honest to god, mean it?" 
   "Yeah..." He shifted and I huffed. 
   "Martha showed me your sketchbook-"
   "I'll kill her-" John growled, turning around. 
   "John, wait." I sighed. "She showed me this."
   "Oh god...What?" I opened the sketchbook and flipped through the pages until I found it. I handed it to him and he sighed with relief. 
   "Do you really mean that?" John sat next to me and closed the book. 
   "Yeah...I really mean it. All of it" I hugged him and he hesitated before sighing. "Alex, please-"
   "I-...I trust you, John."
   "What are you saying, Alex?" 
   "I-I-...I wanna be with you." 
   "Alex, this isn't funny. I-" I kissed him and he put his thumb and forefinger on my chin. "You're serious?" I nodded and John kissed me again, grinning this time. He hugged me tightly and I giggled a bit. "I love you."
   "John-"
   "I know. You say it when you're ready, baby girl." John hummed, my phone buzzed and I sighed. I pulled it out of my pocket and read James' text. "You gotta go?" I nodded and John helped me up. I paused and grinned. 
   "What's in your sketchbook that you don't want me to see?" I grinned, John turned scarlet and stammered a bit. 
   "Nothing." 
   "Come on, Jacky."
   "It's embarrassing." He mumbled, I giggled and touched his cheek.
   "You know what else is embarrassing?"
   "What?" 
   "Missing a leg." John rolled his eyes and I pecked him gently. 
   "I think it's cute." 
   "So what's in the sketchbook."
   "Um-..." I gave him puppy dog eyes and he huffed. "Fine. I swear you're gonna be the death of me." He handed me the book and I flipped through pages. John turned redder with every page until I found what he was talking about. It was a slightly NSFW sketch of me with the words 'what have I done' printed under it. I raised an eyebrow as John and he looked away. 
   "When was this?" I asked gently, he glanced at me and then the sketch. 
   " A few weeks ago." 
   "I can see it's before Thomas broke my prosthetic." I smirked, John nodded and sighed. 
   "There's a few more." He mumbled, turning a darker shade of red. I flipped and found increasingly dirtier sketches. I blushed and looked up at John. "I get bored, ok! I'm a teenage boy! What do you expect?" He gushed, I giggled and crawled over to him. 
   "You're cute." I smiled, John blushed and I pecked him gently. 
   "I love you." He hummed, kissing me gently. 
   "Stop drawing porn." I teased, John rolled his eyes and we headed downstairs. He walked me all the way to James' car and helped me get in. 
   "So?" James asked as he pulled out of the driveway. 
   "I'm his boyfriend." 
   "About damn time."