saved to live, killed to love

t e n

The taste of blood, like some sort of bitter rust linger on my tongue as I felt my jaw went numb. I glared at him, and there goes his annoying smirk once again. With my vision a little blurry, I clenched my fist tighter.

"You wanna have a break and cry?" He uttered, teasing me.
"No, hit me in the face one more time. I will—"
"You will what?"
"I will kill you."

And as I spoke, he swung his fist and aimed at my face. I dodged. Sliding on his side as I hook one of my arm on his leg, hitting the back of his knee with my other elbow; with him losing his balance, I went on my knees and grabbed his arm— locking it in between my legs, pulling it as I choke him with the weigh of my leg.

He tapped. I immediately let go and stood up, gasping for air as I stare at him. His arm shows red scratches, his cheek has a purplish mark and his neck is redder.

"Never hold back. It's always a matter of life and death." He nodded, standing up. "Lacking but atleast you knew how to use your strength. Now, let's use some toys."

I nodded, tightening the bandage on my hand. He stood on the other side of the table where disassembled guns laid there, as well as one knife and two bullets.

Unlike in the movies where light comes flashing out of your sparring partner, nor the tingling sensation whenever you touched one another, this training is more brutal than I expected.

Bruises on my body, bleeding cheek, bloody knuckles.
When I told him to train me, I didn't expect to have like a survival situation; I almost died on the first day. With the amount of hard punches, merciless kicks. I was knocked out— but this time I wouldn't. If he won't hold back, then I must not.

San has the endurance and flexibility, which is why he is the ace of physical attacks. With his speed, and hard blows, no wonder he is always at the front in every mission.

"Ready?" He asked.
"Always."
"Go!" He uttered, and there goes our hands grabbing every piece as we assemble. He chuckled, hearing me groan as my eyes went from my hand up to him and back at it again. With the bullet pushed down on the magazine, I immediately pull the slide, placing the bullet on the chamber and aimed it at him.

"Sloth." I grinned at his amused smile.

He raised both of his hand, but as he was about to pull the gun from my hand, I took a step back and roll under the table. Hitting the back of his head as I stood up.

I looked up as I heard some footsteps, only for him to grab my arm and swing me towards the table. Groaning, and stumbling, I grabbed the knife and throw it at the step he was about to take; pulling the trigger as I aimed at the stairs.

"Oh shit!" A man groaned.

San rolled out of the ring and hid behind his locker, hand is reaching at the gun hidden above while I stood there. Eyes were fixed on the shadow of a man as my hands went busy assembling San's gun— pulling the slide and aiming it at the man once again.

"Easy! It's me, Yunho!" He uttered, and there goes a brown haired guy walking slowly with his hands raised high. "You shot my coat! I just bought it.."
"You didn't tell me you'd come." San uttered, placing the gun back at the top of his locker before he walked towards his friend.

I placed the assembled gun behind my back, tucking it on the hem of my highwaist leggings. I went out of the ring and walk towards him, standing a step behind San. Even if he seems nice, Yunho is a con artist. He can fool people with his smiles, and I wouldn't let myself fall for to any of their facade.

"Hi Sola!" Yunho greeted me, his cheeks were puffy with his wide smile.  Hongjoong didn't tell them about my identity..

He reached out a couple of paperbags at me, in which San accepted. With his hand placed inside his coat, I was alarmed— or probably just overthink things with days of training. I pushed San aside and immediately hold out a gun at him; as he held the gun with his reflexes, I turned around and swung my leg to kick his arm away— standing nearer with my gun touching his chest.

"San made you his little devil, I see." He chuckled, holding his hand out with nothing but a ring. A gold thin ring.

My face flushed red. With the frustration of embarassing myself, I pulled the trigger as I aimed it in between his legs; the bullet pierced through the box behind him, making him gasp and hold unto his crotch. Eyes were wide as he glared at me.

I shrugged, walking away from them as I heard them chuckle. I sat on the nearest box and gasp for air, putting my hair up as it stick on my sweaty body.

All ears in every word they utter.

"Why her?" San asked.
"And why not me?" I intervene, looking at San who only raised his eyebrows at me.

A con artist, indeed.
I rolled my eyes as I stood up. I grabbed the paperbags on San's hand and come face to face with Yunho. Even with his tall built, his eyes look so innocent.

"Give me an hour." I spat, looking up at his level before walking past him.

Now I am not just a bait, but also a prop.

There is this housewarming party being held tonight, Yunho must attend, but Hongjoong wanted me to come along as Yunho's fiance. With the ring on my finger, I looked at my bare face in front of the mirror. Bruises and scars must be hidden. I have to prove to myself that I am ready for tomorrow, this is the only chance I have to clear my name for Hongjoong.

I blow dried my hair, and leave it straight on my back. This knee length, flowy white dress exposed my back. I locked the strap of this black heels and tighten the belt on my thigh, ensuring a small knife will be hidden.

With concealer, I covered my bruises. Such a nice choice of dress, having my skin exposed in this timing. I barely put something on my face, aside from covering my bruised cheek, for I don't have much make ups to use anyway.

"A facade." I mumble to myself. Sighing.

I hate the unfamiliarity that I am feeling everytime I look at myself. Ever since I left my parents, I am still having so little to no progress at all towards the life I am wanting to live. With the things I am exposed at, the risk I am putting myself in; coping with this mess feels so hard because in each day, I get to know more, and the more I knew, the more I get involved— the harder it is for me to escape.

I held my phone and went out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with San.

His gaze lingers from my feet up to my face; eyes were darkening as his jaw clenched. He reached out his hand, tucking a few strand of hair behind my left ear as he placed an ear cuff on it. It looks elegant, but what the heck?

"Destroy that when you're in danger. That'll alarm me, and I will come and get you right away. Do you understand?" His warm hand against my cheek, and his eyes staring straight into mine. I blinked and nodded. Swallowing hard.
"Don't forget what I told you. Never hold back—"

"I am not going to die." I uttered, staring back at his eyes before walking towards Yunho; who is unbuttoning a couple of buttons of his black long sleeves. The side of his lips tug upwards as he glanced at me from head to toe.

"I hope you don't mind if I wear this instead, somebody's bullet pierced through my coat." He chuckled, making me broke into a smile. "You look innocent for a newborn devil."

He offers his arm to which I decline, a chuckle echoed in the room as San stood there leaning against the wall; removing the bandage on his hand as he shook his head.

"Yunho." He called out.
"San." Yunho answered, the sound of door closing followed.

I stood in front of Yunho's car, taking deep breaths as I caress the ear cuff on my ear. My hand is becoming sweaty with things rushing in my mind. Anything can happen. Am I prepared enough for this? An image of San flashed in my head, his annoying smirk every time I stumble and fell on the ground during our trainings.

I nodded, fixing my posture as I tap my chest. I must not die.