Heart to Heart

Chapter 10

Shailene POV

The next morning, when I open my eyes, the sunlight drops to my eyes through the windows, making me blink.

Theo is wrapped around me, his head on my chest, his arm holding me around my waist, and his leg between mine. I'm wearing his sweater and socks, and Theo is only in his pajama pants, the tempature is very cold, but his position warms me up.

He's still sleeping, looking peaceful than ever. He doesn't look like he's 29 though. And I suddenly remember, his going to turn 30 tomorrow. I can't help but smile, I need to think of something to give to him. Last time I checked, he wanted me, well, now that he got me, what does he want now?

I look at his face again, he's too gorgeous to be true. Gently, I stroke his short messy hair. He stirs awake, two beautiful sleepy eyes meet mine, blinking a couple of times as he wakes.

"Good morning, baby." Oh! I love it when he called me baby.

"Hi, how's your sleep?" I asked.

He nuzzles my breast and hums deep in his throat, while his hand stroking my side. His actions makes me smile. "Better than ever."

"Good." And I lean down, and kiss his temple.

"I love this." He murmus appreciatively and closes his eyes while still having his head on my chest.

"What?"

"This, everything." I'm still confused. What is he referring to? "You being my girlfriend, waking beside you on my bed, in my house, you meeting my family. Everything feels...right."

Oh. I don't know what to say. Seriously, we just dated less than a day, even though I like it, it does feels so quick. Am I ready? I'm not sure though, but with him right now, does feels right.

"What is it?" I glance down looking at him. His face is full of worried. "You're quite, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"

What am I suppose to say to him? That I'm not ready? Jeez. "Tell me, Shailene."

I take a deep breath, "I'm just worried that this...is going to fast."

He moves himself up, rest his head on his elbow, and still having his arm around my waist. "I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine. It's just that I want to cherish every single thing, and I don't want to regret anything. And to be honest, I'm kind of scared." I could hear my voice getting lower and lower by the second.

"What are you scared of, baby?" He starts stroking my sides again, this makes me relax.

Again, I don't know what to say. Deep down, I have one fear that could hurt all of my senses. "Tell me, Shai. You have to tell me."

"I'm scared that you'll leave me." My voice is barely a whisper. The thought of loosing him is scary. I'm confused right now. I don't want things to go too fast, but then I'm scared he'll be tired of waiting, and then he'll leave. I don't want that.

"Shailene," suddenly he sits up, and pull me up to sit on his lap. "Have I given you any indication that I will leave you?" I shake my head, because I don't know what to say. "Then why do you think that?"

I don't know. I can't answer him. I can't even look at his eyes. "Shailene, answer me." He lift my chin up, tipping my head back, and stares at me.

"I don't know, Theo. There's so much to think about. I haven't been in a relationship for a long period of time. I'm not sure I'm ready to settle down. But you have just ended a long term relationship. I'm sure you're ready to settle things down. I'm not. What if you'll leave me? What if I'm not good enough for you? What if you're tired of waiting? I'm scared, Theo. Can't you see?" I sigh, I can feel tears in my eyes, and I'm trying my best to hold them back.