Drown. // c.t.h.

Seis / Six

Drown VI

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“a year ago, everything was different. i wouldnt have pictured myself like this, and now that I look back, I have realized that a year can do a lot for a person,”

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“Charadee, who was that?” Calum asks me again.

All I can do is just slide down the locked front door and bring my knees in close to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I don’t answer him; I can’t answer him. What do I say? Oh yeah that was my crazy ex-boyfriend I fell in love with and left me standing in my driveway with no words of when or if he was returning and all I felt was the sting of rejection.

So I don’t say anything and try to pull myself together again. Like humpty dumpty except I'm far more shattered than he is.

Calum sighs for the fiftieth time since Josh left and takes a seat next to me on the floor. It’s quiet for a couple seconds but it seems like silence is our specialty.

“Listen Char,” he starts, licking his lips a little before continuing. “I don’t know what or who the hell that was, and I know that I’ve only known you for what- a day? But I want you to know that you can trust me, and you can tell me anything and I’ll keep it to myself. Because after what I just witnessed you need all the support you can get darling.” He says.

I don’t know why but I just start crying. Crying so hard it feels like I was gonna hyperventilate and die. I was crying to much I didn’t even have time to register he called me darling. I’ve never had anyone say anything like that to me. Ever. Not even Scarlett.

“Oh shit, did I say something wrong? I always mess serious situations even more,” he says hitting his head against the door.

I lift my head up to look at him, wiping under my eyes.

“No, I don’t know why I'm crying actually. I think they’re good tears though, because my chest isn’t aching that much anymore,” I say sniffling and rolling up my long sleeves.

I look up at him and he tilts his head to the side in sympathy with a miniscule smile on his lips and suddenly I feel embarrassed because I shouldn’t have told him about my chest pains. He opens his arms and wiggles his fingers for me to lean against him. My body wins against my mind in an almost nom existent battle of whether or not I should go.

I scoot closer to Calum and hesitantly lay my head against his chest. And as soon as he closes his arms around my tiny body I feel this strange sense of nostalgia. Like I’ve been missing and searching for home and I feel it in his two arms. It’s not even an attraction; I just feel safe and protected in this strangers –it’s only been a day- arms.

We lay against the front door and I cry just a little bit more, still overwhelmed and stressed with the fact that I saw josh for the first time in months. Almost a year. Minutes that feel like hours pass before I’ve calmed down almost completely-which is just enough for me to survive.