Always? Always.

Chapter 13: The present for Severus

Severus came back.

We need to talk Sam.
I was getting nervous, he said it like something very serious. I sat down on our couch and he sat next to me with his hands folded on his lap.
I have to tell you something about my past.
Okay, I'll listen.
You know that I was a Death Eater for a while, I did terrible things... Albus helped me to become a good man. I lost the mark because of him and I am very grateful for that. He didn't do it, just to help me, I had to do something back. I am his spy in the castle, I have to make sure no one with bad plans comes in. To make the long story short, we think that Elijah is a Death Eater and that he is up to something, I don't know what yet. I don't want you to come near him, but you have to act normal, otherwise he finds out and then I'm in great danger.
I understand Severus, I can help you if you want to?
No, I hope that this is my last task.
I hope so too.

The months passed and we still didn't know what Elijah is up to.
It is almost Christmas, Severus and I are a couple for more than a year. We didn't planned something, nothing I know of.

Sam! Wait!
I really didn't want to wait but I have no choice. Why do I have to wait Elijah?
I want to walk with you to the Great Hall.
Okay...
Oh Merlins beard! I forgot something in my room, do you want to come with me?
I didn't want to but I said yes.
We are at his room when he said that I had to come in.
No, I will wait outside Elijah, just grab what you need.
Elijah said, I said that you have to come in!
Alright, I went into his room and he locked the door.
Why did you lock the door? What are you planning to do? I tried to take my wand but it was too obvious.
Give me your wand he said. I gave my wand.
What are you going to do? I asked him.
I know you are going to like it witch.
He pushed me on the bed. I screamed and yelled but no one could hear me. He took his wand out and said Petrificus Totalus. I couldn't move nor scream.
He took off my briefs and raped me. I cried. I was praying to be saved but no one came.
When Elijah was done he said to me that it was nice and wanted to do this often, I wanted to yell at him, but I couldn't speak. He took me to Severus's classroom and threw me on his desk.

What a nice present for Severus, but he can't know it was me, Imperio. A student assaulted you Sam.
He went away.
It was dinner time, Severus would be here in an hour. An hour of laying on the desk. I hope he can undo the spell a student used on me. Why didn't I know who it was? I have seen his face very clearly, but I just don't know who it is. It must be one of the last year, he had a heavy voice.

An hour later Severus came in. His face twisted. Sam? Are you awake? He realized that I am paralyzed and said he has to make a potion to get me moving again. He was finally done with the Anti-Paralysis potion and gave it to me. I can move again!

What happened Sam? Why were you paralyzed on my desk?
I... I am raped by a student...
A student? Who?
I don't know, I even don't know why I think it's a student.
Somebody has messed with your memory. May I use the Legilimency spell?
Yes... I didn't know what happened, I am so confused.
Legilimens said Severus.
He was searching in my memory, when he found what happened, he stepped away.
Severus said I... I am so sorry this happened to you. All the memories Elijah erased came back and I cried and cried. I felt disgusting, he is a psychopath.
I got up and went straight to Elijah's room, on the way I noticed I didn't have my wand with me, he still had it.

I was about to knock on the door when I saw my wand laying on the ground, I picked it up and knocked. Elijah opened the door.

Hello Sam, what can I do for you?
How dare he acting like nothing happened. I lost control. I did the Trip Jinx. He fell.
He tried to take his wand and I said Expelliarmus! Do you like this? Raping women and then remove their memory?
Please don't hurt me Sam, I beg you. I pointed my wand at him.
Do you really think I am going to let you get away with this?
No, I will go, you'll never see me again. Please don't kill me.
I won't kill you, I'm going to torture you! Sectumsem...
Severus came in and said stop Sam, he will be punished, you'll never forgive yourself if you finish that spell. What he said made me stop. I realised what I was about to do so I gave my wand to Severus and stepped backwards.

Thank you Severus, thank you Elijah said.
Don't thank me Elijah, if I could I would like to do it myself but Albus is on his way.
I stood behind Severus, I am shocked about what's happening this evening.
Albus came in and took him with him.

I cried in Severus's arms and he tried to comfort me. Why do bad things always happen when I am happy? Can't I be happy?
Yes you can Sam, sshhtt calm down love.
I calmed down.

The rape has been weeks and although I am happy with the punishment Elijah received - one year Azkaban and never teaching again - I continued to have nightmares about the event. They were less intense and I didn't have them that often anymore. Severus helped me very well, he made Anti-nightmare potions and reassured me if I had one anyway.

The Christmas break is almost over and I will teach again. I am looking forward to it. I just hope my nightmares will be over soon.